On Nov 10th, 2011 I was in Winnipeg to spend some time with D for one week. It was so nice. He has been staying with my brother since August. I am so appreciative of their willingness to have him stay there as long as it takes.
D has wonderful support from both of our families. I have mentioned it before. We are both very grateful of their generosity and support during his time in Winnipeg.
I wanted the visit to be mostly enjoying each other and the visiting of immediate family.
I saved the "not so good stuff" for the way home. One can't get away from that.
I read Sharon's affidavit on the plane ride home and made several notes. I had read a large portion of her 2 volume exhibits attached to the affidavit on the last day I was in Winnipeg. WOW!!
The predominant response is chuckling. We literally laughed at some of the content. Not in a facetious way but a truly light hearted way.
The repetition of information filed by Sharon was incredible. How easy it is to lie and to file false information with the courts is astounding to me. D had to respond to all of this nonsense. He had to answer to it as he had the final response. He stated it was more wasted time and hours of effort to respond yet again to the same accusations.
He had provided factual information and letters from our attourney, our CPA, and the IRS.
The clock ticks...ticks...ticks...
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Monday, December 26, 2011
Feels Like A Three Ring Circus
Well a few days ago D texted me that he had been served with papers from Sharon/attourney. She changed attourneys and I will post about that in a little bit.
The papers were for D to appear in front of a Master (or so he thought) on Nov 8th, 2011 to address a request that Sharon was making. She had numerous requests of D to remove several paragraphs in his prior affidavit/s and to pay costs of this latest legal process. This is explained in his posts above.
I truly felt this to be a purposeful delay and a tactic to get him to pay some money as they knew he had none. Their goal would be to delay the Trial. Sharon/atty would either shake D up to produce some cash or truly delay the process because he could not pay.
The madness of it all is that with delays, Sharon does not get any support money (to be determined at the Trial) and she continues to spend money on all of these legal proceedings.
The only one making money is the attourney and the courts. Fees are required by the courts for all sorts of reasons.
The children are lost in all of it. D wants to get some type of resolution and start paying his kids directly.
So many times all I can do is shake my head in disbelief. I cannot make any sense of the system or process allowed.
It literally feels like a three ring circus or a puppet show. It's about moving according to who is holding the marionnette strings or following the circus master.
I cannot imagine how it truly feels for D right in the middle having to go here and there and respond to constant BS. To remain focused and strong through all of it is remarkable to say the least.
I am so proud of him. What an honor it is to be going through life with such an incredible person as a partner. I love you baby!
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
The papers were for D to appear in front of a Master (or so he thought) on Nov 8th, 2011 to address a request that Sharon was making. She had numerous requests of D to remove several paragraphs in his prior affidavit/s and to pay costs of this latest legal process. This is explained in his posts above.
I truly felt this to be a purposeful delay and a tactic to get him to pay some money as they knew he had none. Their goal would be to delay the Trial. Sharon/atty would either shake D up to produce some cash or truly delay the process because he could not pay.
The madness of it all is that with delays, Sharon does not get any support money (to be determined at the Trial) and she continues to spend money on all of these legal proceedings.
The only one making money is the attourney and the courts. Fees are required by the courts for all sorts of reasons.
The children are lost in all of it. D wants to get some type of resolution and start paying his kids directly.
So many times all I can do is shake my head in disbelief. I cannot make any sense of the system or process allowed.
It literally feels like a three ring circus or a puppet show. It's about moving according to who is holding the marionnette strings or following the circus master.
I cannot imagine how it truly feels for D right in the middle having to go here and there and respond to constant BS. To remain focused and strong through all of it is remarkable to say the least.
I am so proud of him. What an honor it is to be going through life with such an incredible person as a partner. I love you baby!
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
More Web Weaving!
In what I thought was the right process of the court, I had asked both my Mom and my Auntie Diane to file affidavits to corroborate my affidavit regarding Sharon's manipulation of the courts and her continuous alienation of my children from their family. These affidavits were filed by the beginning of November 2011. Sharon had continued to be letigious over the many years. She had been awarded a Protection Order against my Mom for hugging my son A at his school when he was a young boy. She had asked A if she could hug him and he had replied "yes". My Aunt had had an encounter with Sharon that same evening at the school Christmas Program. Sharon had whispered in her ear from behind. Sharon mentioned that she would make certain that this (the hugging incident) would never happen again. I don't know the exact language used and am summarizing.
Again, the other side put forth a motion to Expunge both of these affidavits and be awarded costs in one lump sum to be paid immediately. This time I knew what to do as far as court process. Things didn't go as well as the first time. The new Master Expunged both affidavits and awarded costs to be determined by the trial Judge in January. This is the trial I have been waiting for since I came to Canada.
I got through this one by the skin of my teeth. Their affidavits had been filed too late and should have been filed with my affidavit in October 2011. At least my trial would not be delayed. All in learning the system as I represent myself.
So back to the beginning.
I called Sharon's lawyer to see when we should do the cross examination (Discovery). She stated we had a problem as she would be in court all week and would have to get back to me after she talked to her client Sharon. I got a call back in a couple of days and I agreed to not do the cross examination for discovery to be able to keep the Trial date of Jan 17, 2012. Now mid December, we would not have enough time to fully complete discovery with transcripts being done, and meeting filing dates etc.
I spent a couple of weeks at the court house checking out family court trials and doing research on case law. Yuk! Anyway, I never saw Sharon's lawyer once in that time, nor was she ever listed on any dockets I looked at while there.
This is only a very small part of the family court system and how it spins the web.
Remember D's posts are in GREEN. PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
Again, the other side put forth a motion to Expunge both of these affidavits and be awarded costs in one lump sum to be paid immediately. This time I knew what to do as far as court process. Things didn't go as well as the first time. The new Master Expunged both affidavits and awarded costs to be determined by the trial Judge in January. This is the trial I have been waiting for since I came to Canada.
I got through this one by the skin of my teeth. Their affidavits had been filed too late and should have been filed with my affidavit in October 2011. At least my trial would not be delayed. All in learning the system as I represent myself.
So back to the beginning.
I called Sharon's lawyer to see when we should do the cross examination (Discovery). She stated we had a problem as she would be in court all week and would have to get back to me after she talked to her client Sharon. I got a call back in a couple of days and I agreed to not do the cross examination for discovery to be able to keep the Trial date of Jan 17, 2012. Now mid December, we would not have enough time to fully complete discovery with transcripts being done, and meeting filing dates etc.
I spent a couple of weeks at the court house checking out family court trials and doing research on case law. Yuk! Anyway, I never saw Sharon's lawyer once in that time, nor was she ever listed on any dockets I looked at while there.
This is only a very small part of the family court system and how it spins the web.
Remember D's posts are in GREEN. PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
Weaving My Way Through The Legal Web
The past month or two have been trying. We were supposed to have a cross examination for discovery in November. "Discovery" is when each side asks questions of the opposing parties (Sharon and I). The discovery was what I called, "postponed" and Sharon's lawyer called, "re-scheduled".
After I filed (with the courts) one of my affidavits on Oct. 24th, 2011, the other side notified me by mail regarding wanting to expunge (have removed) half of the content of my affidavit. Sharon's lawyer would not go ahead with the exam for discovery until the Master (Judge) made a decision on their motion to expunge. I, of course had no recourse but to agree as I didn't have a physical location to hold the discovery examination. So wait I did. They were asking the Master to make a decision as to costs involved for the expungement process. They wanted me to have to pay for the costs in one lump sum before I could continue with my case.
I was under the impression that I was suppose to have to appear in a court setting before the Master to argue the expungement matter in person. I was preparing for this type of forum for several days.
I went to the court house for the time listed on the docket (8:30). To my surprise there was no personal appearance needed. As I found out, the decision would be heard behind closed doors. Did I feel like a fool. I was quite pissed off at myself for wasting that much time. I rushed back to my computer (30mins from the courthouse) to try and make some kind of written response even though I knew the reply was very late. I put a one page reply together and rushed back to the court house to try to have it filed and hopefully put in front of the Master. After I filed (with the courts) one of my affidavits on Oct. 24th, 2011, the other side notified me by mail regarding wanting to expunge (have removed) half of the content of my affidavit. Sharon's lawyer would not go ahead with the exam for discovery until the Master (Judge) made a decision on their motion to expunge. I, of course had no recourse but to agree as I didn't have a physical location to hold the discovery examination. So wait I did. They were asking the Master to make a decision as to costs involved for the expungement process. They wanted me to have to pay for the costs in one lump sum before I could continue with my case.
I was under the impression that I was suppose to have to appear in a court setting before the Master to argue the expungement matter in person. I was preparing for this type of forum for several days.
The Master did not award costs (in one lump sum). This was the one thing I was really worried about. I did not want to delay the already slow court process. I had/have no money to pay any lump. The Master did remove 6 of my 11 paragraphs. Of the 5 remaining, two of my most important paragraphs containing crucial information were left in my affidavit.
I felt successful!
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Saturday, October 29, 2011
My August Visit
I went to Winnipeg for 4 days. I wanted to spend time with both immediate families in one spot and just have fun and laughs. D's mom's cottage at the lake was perfect! Thanks Alice. D helped to bring it together and Steve became the "camp" chef.
We ate, sat around the fire and laughed, walked on the beach, swam, rode bikes, and just spent time together.
It really could not have been more perfect.
No matter the surroundings, there is always talk of D's case. He is never on hiatus from it. He lives this daily. I am so grateful for such wonderful family. Thank you everyone for contributing to my memorable short vacation.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
We ate, sat around the fire and laughed, walked on the beach, swam, rode bikes, and just spent time together.
It really could not have been more perfect.
No matter the surroundings, there is always talk of D's case. He is never on hiatus from it. He lives this daily. I am so grateful for such wonderful family. Thank you everyone for contributing to my memorable short vacation.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
D Could Not Be Nabbed Over The Wires...
On Oct 27th, 2011 I was talking with D early in the morning as he had hit a rough patch. He had not been feeling very well and the sleep he had been getting was less than adequate. His emotions were raw.
He missed his children so much. He thought about them daily. He was constantly thinking about what he would say to them and how he would say it when and if he ever saw them again. He was in tears on the phone. He had to release what he felt.
We chatted for a while and then there was a knock at my front door. I told D to hold on. I opened the door and there were the Sherriff's boys looking at me.
I started with "Hi. Same guys." The one fellow said, "Yeah is DM here?" I responded with, "Guys he's still in Canada. This is him on the phone. I'm talking to him in Canada. He's going to be there until next year." D was hearing all of it. The dialogue went back and forth a minute or two and the officer was very cordial. I was warned of a sweep that was being done this weekend.
Their demeanor was completely different this time around. They parked in front of the house across the street rather than down the block. They came in day light rather than 0500 and the officer was leaning against my doorway in a casual fashion. They did not ask to come in to take a look and they did not ask twice for DM.
It actually felt like they acted with their hearts this time and believed me instantly. That meant something to me. It truly did. There was a connection.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
He missed his children so much. He thought about them daily. He was constantly thinking about what he would say to them and how he would say it when and if he ever saw them again. He was in tears on the phone. He had to release what he felt.
We chatted for a while and then there was a knock at my front door. I told D to hold on. I opened the door and there were the Sherriff's boys looking at me.
I started with "Hi. Same guys." The one fellow said, "Yeah is DM here?" I responded with, "Guys he's still in Canada. This is him on the phone. I'm talking to him in Canada. He's going to be there until next year." D was hearing all of it. The dialogue went back and forth a minute or two and the officer was very cordial. I was warned of a sweep that was being done this weekend.
Their demeanor was completely different this time around. They parked in front of the house across the street rather than down the block. They came in day light rather than 0500 and the officer was leaning against my doorway in a casual fashion. They did not ask to come in to take a look and they did not ask twice for DM.
It actually felt like they acted with their hearts this time and believed me instantly. That meant something to me. It truly did. There was a connection.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Regaining Strength
July of 2011 went by and some healing was taking place. D was getting back into the groove and would take some action as needed to stay on task. It was such a difficult, emotional roller coaster that D was on. Not a single one of us in his entire circle could truly empathize. We could imagine and sympathize but unless we had walked in similar shoes...we would not possibly know exactly the feelings he experienced. Love and support...we all gave him that.
Here he was in the same city as his children and he could not even see them. There was an old order in place that he could not go near the marital home. He was almost 100% certain they both still lived at home. How could he ever reach out to them? How would they ever know the truth? Would they? Would he ever have any type of relationship with them? Did they hate him? Did they fear him? What were they told? He felt so helpless and hopeless at times. I so wanted to just be there to hug him so tight and to walk beside him through this.
I decided to come see him for a few days to encourage him and spend time with him as he was catching his second gust of wind. He was regaining strength for the next leg... keeping his children in the forefront of his mind. That was the driving force! Regardless of whether he would ever have a relationship with his children or not, D would press on to set the record straight once and for all.
Yet another Maintenance Enforcement hearing was scheduled at the beginning of August. I booked my trip to come just after the hearing. I seriously was not sure if I would be visiting him through bars or not, however slight the possibility.
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Here he was in the same city as his children and he could not even see them. There was an old order in place that he could not go near the marital home. He was almost 100% certain they both still lived at home. How could he ever reach out to them? How would they ever know the truth? Would they? Would he ever have any type of relationship with them? Did they hate him? Did they fear him? What were they told? He felt so helpless and hopeless at times. I so wanted to just be there to hug him so tight and to walk beside him through this.
I decided to come see him for a few days to encourage him and spend time with him as he was catching his second gust of wind. He was regaining strength for the next leg... keeping his children in the forefront of his mind. That was the driving force! Regardless of whether he would ever have a relationship with his children or not, D would press on to set the record straight once and for all.
Yet another Maintenance Enforcement hearing was scheduled at the beginning of August. I booked my trip to come just after the hearing. I seriously was not sure if I would be visiting him through bars or not, however slight the possibility.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
Painful Realization
I came back from seeing D in May/June 2011. It was such a memorable time.
Both D and I had jumped into this with both feet. We would do whatever it took. We were both strong and focused. I felt it. I knew it.
By the end of June unpleasant feelings were starting to creep up and I did not appreciate them at the time. I had a sense that D was falling off course. It was not a good feeling. I could envision what would come. We would talk and I would ask him about his documentary, his case and other related topics. The responses were frustrating to say the least.
D was spending most of his time and energy doing anything and everything but working on his "project". He was filling in the time with "busy work" and giving less to what he was in Canada for.
It was hard to get in contact with him on a regular basis as he was moving around quite a bit. He did not always have cell phone reception for texting and land lines were not always available for talking. I felt the weave unraveling. The D that left here was not the same D by the beginning of July 2011. His strength was being enveloped by pain.
This did throw me a curve ball to say the least. It caused me quite a bit of heart ache. A feeling I had not experienced yet with D in our lives as partners. Oh I have had upset moments that lasted a few minutes or at worst a few hours. This was very different. This was days and weeks.
I was playing ping pong in my head with 2 things. One...the feelings of frustration and hurt as D was off track and losing focus and momentum...I wanted to get him back on track and help him and support him...Two...the gut wrenching feelings of knowing that this was not my journey...I was a passenger and he was the driver...I could not want this for him more than he wanted it for himself...letting him decide to get back on track on his own...wow!
I had never backed away from helping in some capacity. Now I was. I had to. I had to for him and for me. He needed to figure out what to do because I sure as hell could not drag him along. The most painful part is that I did not want to either. He had to dig very deeply and pull it out of himself if he was going to finish this. He would have to find his driving force. I believed in him. I told him that I was always here 100% and supported his quest. I also told him I would do no more initiating of any sort regarding his "project". I would do anything he asked and give it my all once he was all in! As painful as this was, I am glad I spoke my truth. Resentment would have no place this way.
This was the reasoning for my lack of BLOG entries. It was no longer coming from within me, my heart, nor my spirit. I could not force it. I knew it would come in due time if it was meant to.
Here I am and as you have probably noticed...so is D.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
Both D and I had jumped into this with both feet. We would do whatever it took. We were both strong and focused. I felt it. I knew it.
By the end of June unpleasant feelings were starting to creep up and I did not appreciate them at the time. I had a sense that D was falling off course. It was not a good feeling. I could envision what would come. We would talk and I would ask him about his documentary, his case and other related topics. The responses were frustrating to say the least.
D was spending most of his time and energy doing anything and everything but working on his "project". He was filling in the time with "busy work" and giving less to what he was in Canada for.
It was hard to get in contact with him on a regular basis as he was moving around quite a bit. He did not always have cell phone reception for texting and land lines were not always available for talking. I felt the weave unraveling. The D that left here was not the same D by the beginning of July 2011. His strength was being enveloped by pain.
This did throw me a curve ball to say the least. It caused me quite a bit of heart ache. A feeling I had not experienced yet with D in our lives as partners. Oh I have had upset moments that lasted a few minutes or at worst a few hours. This was very different. This was days and weeks.
I was playing ping pong in my head with 2 things. One...the feelings of frustration and hurt as D was off track and losing focus and momentum...I wanted to get him back on track and help him and support him...Two...the gut wrenching feelings of knowing that this was not my journey...I was a passenger and he was the driver...I could not want this for him more than he wanted it for himself...letting him decide to get back on track on his own...wow!
I had never backed away from helping in some capacity. Now I was. I had to. I had to for him and for me. He needed to figure out what to do because I sure as hell could not drag him along. The most painful part is that I did not want to either. He had to dig very deeply and pull it out of himself if he was going to finish this. He would have to find his driving force. I believed in him. I told him that I was always here 100% and supported his quest. I also told him I would do no more initiating of any sort regarding his "project". I would do anything he asked and give it my all once he was all in! As painful as this was, I am glad I spoke my truth. Resentment would have no place this way.
This was the reasoning for my lack of BLOG entries. It was no longer coming from within me, my heart, nor my spirit. I could not force it. I knew it would come in due time if it was meant to.
Here I am and as you have probably noticed...so is D.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
The Encounter With A!
Oct. 4th, 2011
Those were exciting and anxious minutes. Now I was faced with the worries of what to say in such a spontaneous moment as that. I knocked on the window and said hello A. I could see when I said hello, he knew who I was. I immediately got emotional but wasn’t going to let emotion stop this encounter. A only asked one question and made a couple of short statements. I did most of the talking. I felt like I only had a few precious moments to get across what I wanted to convey to him. At the end of those minutes which seemed like both hours and seconds. The miraculous moment ended with A putting out his hand to shake mine. I was drained from the highly emotional event and after holding it in I walked back to my car and just cried not sure if I was happy or sad. All I wanted to do is call my wife B and tell her of the news and share the moment with her because we are like one. The details will be between us and my most close family. My very first post on the Blog is the aftermath of which I assume is the result of my son A informing his mother that he saw and talked to me. Please infer your own meaning of why someone would be so outwardly aggressive in protecting a 21 year old boy who is 6' 1" and 200 plus pounds.
Remember D's posts are in GREEN. PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
Those were exciting and anxious minutes. Now I was faced with the worries of what to say in such a spontaneous moment as that. I knocked on the window and said hello A. I could see when I said hello, he knew who I was. I immediately got emotional but wasn’t going to let emotion stop this encounter. A only asked one question and made a couple of short statements. I did most of the talking. I felt like I only had a few precious moments to get across what I wanted to convey to him. At the end of those minutes which seemed like both hours and seconds. The miraculous moment ended with A putting out his hand to shake mine. I was drained from the highly emotional event and after holding it in I walked back to my car and just cried not sure if I was happy or sad. All I wanted to do is call my wife B and tell her of the news and share the moment with her because we are like one. The details will be between us and my most close family. My very first post on the Blog is the aftermath of which I assume is the result of my son A informing his mother that he saw and talked to me. Please infer your own meaning of why someone would be so outwardly aggressive in protecting a 21 year old boy who is 6' 1" and 200 plus pounds.
Remember D's posts are in GREEN. PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
Friday, October 21, 2011
A Day To Remember...Locating My Son A
Oct. 4th, 2011
I was driving over to my cousin’s place in hopes of seeing my son A. He lives a couple of streets past my cousin’s home. I almost didn’t believe my eyes, he drove right by me. I was so shocked I almost didn’t know what to do. I wheeled my vehicle around and followed him still not 100% sure it was him. At the first red light I was close enough to tell that it was in fact my Son A. We kept driving down the road. As we did, I was thinking of what the heck I would say to him or what worried me worse was what he might say to me. I missed a light at a mall and he drove on ahead of me. I was almost ready to drive through the red light, but I didn’t. I sped up to try and catch up to him. I checked the first lot in the back of the mall and then the second. My heart sank I thought I had missed my one chance in seven months in Winnipeg to make contact with the son I had not seen in over twelve years. I was originally in that area to get more minutes on my Manitoba cell phone. I decided that I must have lost my chance and would just get my business taken care of. To my surprise there was A’s car in the lot. I pulled into the nearest available spot and parked. I rushed to the mall entrance to see if I could see him. When I walked by his car I noticed that he was still in the car. I was a little afraid to look over at him for too long. I went into the mall and got my minutes, which I did faster than ever before. I watched the mall doors to see if he was coming in. He wasn't. I was done my business and walked out thinking he drove off. He was still there and I paused momentarily and said to myself I may never get this opportunity again so off I went.
Remember D's posts are in GREEN. PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience. .
I was driving over to my cousin’s place in hopes of seeing my son A. He lives a couple of streets past my cousin’s home. I almost didn’t believe my eyes, he drove right by me. I was so shocked I almost didn’t know what to do. I wheeled my vehicle around and followed him still not 100% sure it was him. At the first red light I was close enough to tell that it was in fact my Son A. We kept driving down the road. As we did, I was thinking of what the heck I would say to him or what worried me worse was what he might say to me. I missed a light at a mall and he drove on ahead of me. I was almost ready to drive through the red light, but I didn’t. I sped up to try and catch up to him. I checked the first lot in the back of the mall and then the second. My heart sank I thought I had missed my one chance in seven months in Winnipeg to make contact with the son I had not seen in over twelve years. I was originally in that area to get more minutes on my Manitoba cell phone. I decided that I must have lost my chance and would just get my business taken care of. To my surprise there was A’s car in the lot. I pulled into the nearest available spot and parked. I rushed to the mall entrance to see if I could see him. When I walked by his car I noticed that he was still in the car. I was a little afraid to look over at him for too long. I went into the mall and got my minutes, which I did faster than ever before. I watched the mall doors to see if he was coming in. He wasn't. I was done my business and walked out thinking he drove off. He was still there and I paused momentarily and said to myself I may never get this opportunity again so off I went.
Remember D's posts are in GREEN. PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience. .
Business As Usual...More Manipulation
Oct. 18, 2011
I was checking the Court of Queen’s Bench registry (site for finding stored cases of the court) to see if there were any new developments in my divorce case. I was expecting to see no change. To my great surprise I found that my Ex wife, Sharon put an application in for a protective order in front of the court. I was equally surprised to find out that it was dismissed.
Ten to fifteen years ago the courts would hand these out like candy at a candy store. No need of proof of any wrong doing. You just had to say you feared someone or you feared for your children’s safety and you were granted an order of protection. I have heard from local people here in Winnipeg that it is not the case anymore.
I went down to the court to find out the particulars of the dismissed application for the protection order. Well right on top was what I was looking for. It was as a few people suspected, it had been filed the very next day after I talked to my son A. It appeared as though Sharon was trying the same tricks she used over 10 years ago to keep me and my family away from my son A and daughter R. Sharon implied that I was stalking my son and that guns and violence were a threat. These were the tools she used to try to manipulate the Judge and the Court. It is unfortunate that Sharon is in the same place as she was 15 years ago. My main concern is for my kids A and R. I love them so much and not a day goes by that I don't think of them.
Remember D's posts are in GREEN. PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
I was checking the Court of Queen’s Bench registry (site for finding stored cases of the court) to see if there were any new developments in my divorce case. I was expecting to see no change. To my great surprise I found that my Ex wife, Sharon put an application in for a protective order in front of the court. I was equally surprised to find out that it was dismissed.
Ten to fifteen years ago the courts would hand these out like candy at a candy store. No need of proof of any wrong doing. You just had to say you feared someone or you feared for your children’s safety and you were granted an order of protection. I have heard from local people here in Winnipeg that it is not the case anymore.
I went down to the court to find out the particulars of the dismissed application for the protection order. Well right on top was what I was looking for. It was as a few people suspected, it had been filed the very next day after I talked to my son A. It appeared as though Sharon was trying the same tricks she used over 10 years ago to keep me and my family away from my son A and daughter R. Sharon implied that I was stalking my son and that guns and violence were a threat. These were the tools she used to try to manipulate the Judge and the Court. It is unfortunate that Sharon is in the same place as she was 15 years ago. My main concern is for my kids A and R. I love them so much and not a day goes by that I don't think of them.
Remember D's posts are in GREEN. PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
NEW!! Additions To The BLOG by D!
Well I would like to start by saying that these new posts in green will be D's posts. This will quickly differenciate his from mine on the Blog.
He is going to start blogging about his current experiences with his "Mission" in Canada as well as past goings on related to his divorce, custody battle for his children and the parent alienation and associated syndrome that has affected his children. He will be writing as he feels it and it may not have any chronological order at this time.
His goal is to get his thoughts and sentiments out as they come up. The organization of it may occur as we go along.
Remember D's posts are in GREEN. PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience. .
He is going to start blogging about his current experiences with his "Mission" in Canada as well as past goings on related to his divorce, custody battle for his children and the parent alienation and associated syndrome that has affected his children. He will be writing as he feels it and it may not have any chronological order at this time.
His goal is to get his thoughts and sentiments out as they come up. The organization of it may occur as we go along.
Remember D's posts are in GREEN. PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience. .
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Hello Again!
I guess we all figured out that I was in fact, NOT back!
Here it is October 2nd, 2011. I woke up this morning and actually thought of the Blog immediately. I got up and did a few things outside. It was 75 degress at 0630! Ahhhhhh!
I warmed up my coffee and went to sit on the couch to ponder what I would do today....The Blog...it kept popping up in my thoughts.
So here I sit in front of my computer. For the first time since May I actually feel it within me to write. Oh I know I had made a post here and there since then but I felt obligated to do so. It was not coming from within.
Steve...to you, I am truly sorry as I had told you I would write a few weeks ago and I did not. I meant it when I said it but as evidenced by no new entry, I wasn't feeling it.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
Here it is October 2nd, 2011. I woke up this morning and actually thought of the Blog immediately. I got up and did a few things outside. It was 75 degress at 0630! Ahhhhhh!
I warmed up my coffee and went to sit on the couch to ponder what I would do today....The Blog...it kept popping up in my thoughts.
So here I sit in front of my computer. For the first time since May I actually feel it within me to write. Oh I know I had made a post here and there since then but I felt obligated to do so. It was not coming from within.
Steve...to you, I am truly sorry as I had told you I would write a few weeks ago and I did not. I meant it when I said it but as evidenced by no new entry, I wasn't feeling it.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Nearly Two Months Have Gone By!!!
Time so flies! I am looking over my Blog because I have to pull some information from it to get a document created for D's court case on Sept 9th. I started reading several entries and I have missed writing. I noticed I had a few more followers. That was cool!
To all who have been checking...thank you for your support and I am sorry that I have taken such a lengthy hiatus. I will explain in the days to come.
To those who kept checking and finally gave up on me writing new material...surprise...never give up...haha!
I am back. I have been working on pulling together more information for D in order to bring it to him in person TODAY!!!
Yes, I am flying to Canada this afternoon and will be hugging my wonderful man at about 2100 tonight. He is meeting me at the border in order to spend one extra hour with me on the ride to Winnipeg. All his idea...I was so touched!
I AM back...I feel good and I am eager and ready to get this out.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
To all who have been checking...thank you for your support and I am sorry that I have taken such a lengthy hiatus. I will explain in the days to come.
To those who kept checking and finally gave up on me writing new material...surprise...never give up...haha!
I am back. I have been working on pulling together more information for D in order to bring it to him in person TODAY!!!
Yes, I am flying to Canada this afternoon and will be hugging my wonderful man at about 2100 tonight. He is meeting me at the border in order to spend one extra hour with me on the ride to Winnipeg. All his idea...I was so touched!
I AM back...I feel good and I am eager and ready to get this out.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Lacking Motivation
Well here it is Tuesday morning. I seem to be having difficulty finding motivation to start up on this topic again. I have signed in on the Blog several days but begin to write and my heart and my head are not in it so I sign out. I must be all in in order to be coming from my true self.
I know me very well and when my heart speaks to me I need to listen. I continue to grow and learn.
On my way to the airport I was captive in a car for 2 hours. I decided that this would be a great time to read Sharon's affidavit in full. I did not want to read it while I was in Canada as I knew it would alter my mood at that moment.
I had both affidavits side by side and read them both. I read them aloud to my father and his wife. They were driving me to Grand Forks, ND. The material elicited some response and dialogue between the 3 of us. I was grateful for their company.
(For those who are unfamiliar...An affidavit is a formal sworn statement of fact, signed by the author, who is called the affiant or deponent, and witnessed as to the authenticity of the affiant's signature by a taker of oaths, such as a notary public or commissioner of oaths). These are the statements that each party presents to the Courts. They are a summary of what that party wishes to have addressed in Court.
I will be posting these Affidavits on my Blog in pieces. I will not summarize them with my opinion in any way. That is my goal. YOU, the reader can discover and reach your own conclusions.
Just now, posting this Blog entry, I am feeling some flow of writing.
I will be back in full force. I need some time to work through my feelings of being back here without D. I was hit much harder than I ever anticipated the day after I arrived back in AZ.
Thank you to our friends Mari, Ronda, Linda and Teresa for reaching out to me via phone or message knowing that I was back. Your thinking of me had a greater impact than you will ever really know! I am grateful for all of you.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
I know me very well and when my heart speaks to me I need to listen. I continue to grow and learn.
On my way to the airport I was captive in a car for 2 hours. I decided that this would be a great time to read Sharon's affidavit in full. I did not want to read it while I was in Canada as I knew it would alter my mood at that moment.
I had both affidavits side by side and read them both. I read them aloud to my father and his wife. They were driving me to Grand Forks, ND. The material elicited some response and dialogue between the 3 of us. I was grateful for their company.
(For those who are unfamiliar...An affidavit is a formal sworn statement of fact, signed by the author, who is called the affiant or deponent, and witnessed as to the authenticity of the affiant's signature by a taker of oaths, such as a notary public or commissioner of oaths). These are the statements that each party presents to the Courts. They are a summary of what that party wishes to have addressed in Court.
I will be posting these Affidavits on my Blog in pieces. I will not summarize them with my opinion in any way. That is my goal. YOU, the reader can discover and reach your own conclusions.
Just now, posting this Blog entry, I am feeling some flow of writing.
I will be back in full force. I need some time to work through my feelings of being back here without D. I was hit much harder than I ever anticipated the day after I arrived back in AZ.
Thank you to our friends Mari, Ronda, Linda and Teresa for reaching out to me via phone or message knowing that I was back. Your thinking of me had a greater impact than you will ever really know! I am grateful for all of you.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
I Am Sorry!
Well I apologize to you all as I never did Blog while I visited my family in Canada. The time flew by and I spent as much time just being with and around D and/or family. What a great time. I have so much to write.
I have new information and past information to catch up on.
I will also be shifting the focus slightly as we continue.
I will bring you all current I promise.
I will be writing in present tense very shortly rather than in the past tense.
Thanks for all of your patience. Please give me another day or so to settle in from my trip. I may be back later today.
Make it a great day!
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
I have new information and past information to catch up on.
I will also be shifting the focus slightly as we continue.
I will bring you all current I promise.
I will be writing in present tense very shortly rather than in the past tense.
Thanks for all of your patience. Please give me another day or so to settle in from my trip. I may be back later today.
Make it a great day!
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Taking Off To See the Man!
I am on my way to airport with the whole family plus Amber. We are so excited. It is 1100 my time and I will see D in12 hours!!
WhoooooooooooooooooHoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!
I will be Bloggin while I am there. Stay tuned!
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
WhoooooooooooooooooHoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!
I will be Bloggin while I am there. Stay tuned!
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
The Case Conference With The Judge
The only entry I care to make at this time is that D will be in Canada until at least September. That was the date set this past Tuesday the 24th by the courts. All in all we are very pleased by the outcome other than the date. We had an idea in our heads that this was going to be a 3-6 month process.
I felt rather melancholy on Tuesday but I had my trip to Canada to get ready for so it helped. Thank you to my friend Ronda who answered the phone when I needed to talk to someone after I heard the news of September. I am grateful for you and I love you guys!
I will Blog about the details once I can sit down with D and get the facts in order.
Until then on this topic...
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
I felt rather melancholy on Tuesday but I had my trip to Canada to get ready for so it helped. Thank you to my friend Ronda who answered the phone when I needed to talk to someone after I heard the news of September. I am grateful for you and I love you guys!
I will Blog about the details once I can sit down with D and get the facts in order.
Until then on this topic...
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
A Very Long Weekend
D had gone to the lake with his cousins for the Victoria Day long weekend. He missed out on so much family time over the past 12 years and he deserved to catch up. We did not have contact for several days. The short texts kept me going.
I had a tough weekend to say the least. I try to remain strong and keep my chin up. I am not made of steel and there are days when I feel down for a while. I don't stay there too long. It serves no purpose.
I have a great group of like minded friends that I meet with every other Sunday. I was especially grateful for them this past weekend. They are filled with energy and positive thinking. They feed me with love and kindness. They lift my spirits just by BEING who they are. Thank you Kyle, Linda and Doug. I love you guys! D misses you all so much. He misses our Sundays too!
My sons Stephan and Kyle are there for me anytime I want to grab a cup of coffee. It's most enjoyable to just sit with them and take my mind away for a while. I am so grateful to them both. Thank you for BEING who you are. I love you both so much!
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
I had a tough weekend to say the least. I try to remain strong and keep my chin up. I am not made of steel and there are days when I feel down for a while. I don't stay there too long. It serves no purpose.
I have a great group of like minded friends that I meet with every other Sunday. I was especially grateful for them this past weekend. They are filled with energy and positive thinking. They feed me with love and kindness. They lift my spirits just by BEING who they are. Thank you Kyle, Linda and Doug. I love you guys! D misses you all so much. He misses our Sundays too!
My sons Stephan and Kyle are there for me anytime I want to grab a cup of coffee. It's most enjoyable to just sit with them and take my mind away for a while. I am so grateful to them both. Thank you for BEING who you are. I love you both so much!
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
Research On B & D
I decided to spend some time over the weekend doing some investigating of my own. Trying to stay one step ahead of the court game, I Googled myself and D's names. I figured that Sharon and Atty would have most likely done the same. At least something similar if not that.
Just as I had suspected my name came up in dozens of places due to my involvement in so many projects, businesses, social sites and groups. I verified certain data that came up and made note of it all.
D's name came up in a few places only. His name was linked to a site about "Happy Bachelors" (the point was to stay single) and it had to do with the article written about him in 1997 in a National paper:
"In the case of DM, when determining the postal worker's income, the judge added an additional $300 a year he would earn if he delivered extra flyers -- thus turning an option of earning more money into an obligation.
The stories are remarkably similar across the income spectrum. In 1997, DM, aWinnipeg
Everytime I read this it amazes me in more ways than one. I sit here pondering this as I type. I knew about this article in the past however it was interesting to find it on such a site.
His name also came up as the manager of one of my companies. Not an issue.
We are who we say we are. We've done what we've said we've done. Whatever information is requested will be provided if possible. They can turn every rock over. There will not be any surprises.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
Just as I had suspected my name came up in dozens of places due to my involvement in so many projects, businesses, social sites and groups. I verified certain data that came up and made note of it all.
D's name came up in a few places only. His name was linked to a site about "Happy Bachelors" (the point was to stay single) and it had to do with the article written about him in 1997 in a National paper:
"In the case of DM, when determining the postal worker's income, the judge added an additional $300 a year he would earn if he delivered extra flyers -- thus turning an option of earning more money into an obligation.
The stories are remarkably similar across the income spectrum. In 1997, DM, a
Everytime I read this it amazes me in more ways than one. I sit here pondering this as I type. I knew about this article in the past however it was interesting to find it on such a site.
His name also came up as the manager of one of my companies. Not an issue.
We are who we say we are. We've done what we've said we've done. Whatever information is requested will be provided if possible. They can turn every rock over. There will not be any surprises.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
D's Filing Deadline!
D ran around on foot making copies and dropping files off on Thursday the 19th of May. By the time he'd gotten to the court to file his papers, the fellow behind the counter informed him that his 500 page stack needed to be bound. Well who knew? He actually was quite sympathetic and advised that at the very least place they would need to be in a ring binder. D was certainly not going to get these professionally bound.
Back to Staples he went. By the time the hole punching was done, D stated he'd let out all of his frustration. That poor 3 hole punch took a beating with D placing all of his weight on it to get through as many sheets as was possible for time saving.
There was a customer trying to talk near him and he was making so much noise at that "hole punching" station. "Kabang" over and over. We laughed as he recanted the story. The lady just kept talking to the store clerk.
Laughter is great medicine.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
Back to Staples he went. By the time the hole punching was done, D stated he'd let out all of his frustration. That poor 3 hole punch took a beating with D placing all of his weight on it to get through as many sheets as was possible for time saving.
There was a customer trying to talk near him and he was making so much noise at that "hole punching" station. "Kabang" over and over. We laughed as he recanted the story. The lady just kept talking to the store clerk.
Laughter is great medicine.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
My Thoughts...
Abundance shows up in a variety of ways. The only one we truly are and want to continue to be connected to is love, peace and freedom. That is absolute abundance to the both of us.
All of my experiences have played a valuable role in who I am today. I appreciate every single person that has crossed my path. Thank you! Here are some of my thoughts...
"It matters not what house I live in...it is shelter and I am grateful.
It matters not how much money I have or do not have...I am detached from monetary value.
It matters not where I live on this globe...it is temporary and it is not where I am from...I am grateful for what it offers during the time I am there.
It does matter how I show up in every moment of every day so that I am true to myself.
With this outlook and belief I can BE anywhere. I am not attached to anything material. If it all had to disappear tomorrow, I would still BE me. I feel this to the core of my BEING!"
Having D by my side is unequivocally an awesome bonus that I am so grateful for every day!!! I love YOU so much. You are so generous, loving, tenderhearted, honorable, flexible, open, honest, willing, patient and so much more.
You are already effecting change my friend. You stay the course with those intentions coming straight from your heart, NOTHING can ever throw you off course.
I am in this with you as long as it takes. Know it and feel it baby. I love you!
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
All of my experiences have played a valuable role in who I am today. I appreciate every single person that has crossed my path. Thank you! Here are some of my thoughts...
"It matters not what house I live in...it is shelter and I am grateful.
It matters not how much money I have or do not have...I am detached from monetary value.
It matters not where I live on this globe...it is temporary and it is not where I am from...I am grateful for what it offers during the time I am there.
It does matter how I show up in every moment of every day so that I am true to myself.
With this outlook and belief I can BE anywhere. I am not attached to anything material. If it all had to disappear tomorrow, I would still BE me. I feel this to the core of my BEING!"
Having D by my side is unequivocally an awesome bonus that I am so grateful for every day!!! I love YOU so much. You are so generous, loving, tenderhearted, honorable, flexible, open, honest, willing, patient and so much more.
You are already effecting change my friend. You stay the course with those intentions coming straight from your heart, NOTHING can ever throw you off course.
I am in this with you as long as it takes. Know it and feel it baby. I love you!
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
The UPS Package Arrives On Time
By late Wednesday afternoon May 18th, D had his 5lb, 500 or so page package of documents. He'd spent part of the evening and the following morning spreading it out and becoming familiar. We'd spent time going over all of the important details by phone on Thursday morning.
D was near elated about how "poor" he looked on paper. We both laughed. He could not believe how good he felt going through those tax returns.
It was a comforting feeling to know that the documents requested were in line with what he'd been saying all along. He had no money and he had made very little income in the past 10 years. This was factual.
He would have to make copies of all of these docs and get them filed with the court today! His turn to go to the office supply store! I did not envy him.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
D was near elated about how "poor" he looked on paper. We both laughed. He could not believe how good he felt going through those tax returns.
It was a comforting feeling to know that the documents requested were in line with what he'd been saying all along. He had no money and he had made very little income in the past 10 years. This was factual.
He would have to make copies of all of these docs and get them filed with the court today! His turn to go to the office supply store! I did not envy him.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
The Notice To Appeal
D informed me the day prior that an appeal would need to be filed before the 19th of May. He had 30 days to appeal the decisions made from the April 19th hearing. He was doing this for many reasons I would have to create it and file it within 2 days. D had alot on his plate and left it to the last minute. This created a little squeezing feeling for me. I would have to put on my attourney hat now.
I added more language to it and filed it for $88 on May 18th at 1130. Done!
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
I will not disclose the exact details at this time in order to protect the case as it unfolds. I will reveal all of the information at a later date.
Thank goodness D had a template from filing documents with the courts prior to leaving. I used it and created a new document pertaining to the appeal. I ran it by D and he ran it by Krista. No changes were advised.I added more language to it and filed it for $88 on May 18th at 1130. Done!
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
5/16/2011...Maintenance Enforcement Hearing
First things first. The box had to go to UPS. I was told there was overnight delivery to Canada and that I would get my money back if it did not arrive on time. They could not guarantee that it would not be held up at the border. We would soon know. I opted for 2 day delivery for $85. D was to get it on Wednesday afternoon. This was very hopeful.
Secondly, D's hearing took place at 1400 Manitoba time. D went before a Master (a judicial officer appointed under section 11.1) and a Prosecutor, both representing the Crown who is on the same side as the petitioner (Sharon). The prosecutor stated that she was surprised that Sharon was not there. D's sister Krista was there with him.
There was a dialogue between the 2 parties and no resolution. The Crown (prosecuting party) made no decisions as they seemed to be in the dark about all of the events surrounding D's case. They were ill prepared. The arrest warrant and the contempt of court charges were both brought up. They did not wish to dismiss these as they were uncertain of the reciprocity between the 2 countries. Krista asked that these be dismissed as D had already been convicted of contempt and would face arrest in AZ upon his return. He could not be convicted twice of the same charges. They opted to adjourn the hearing to June 20th. D felt that they did not seem to understand that it was the Maintenance Enforcement in Canada that pushed the AZ Courts to honor the existing orders for child support. The trigger was pulled in Manitoba. The confusion remains a mystery.
Here is an exerpt fom the Manitoba Department of Justice/Family Justice/Family Law website:
"Enforcing Support Provisions Against Persons Living OutsideManitoba
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
Secondly, D's hearing took place at 1400 Manitoba time. D went before a Master (a judicial officer appointed under section 11.1) and a Prosecutor, both representing the Crown who is on the same side as the petitioner (Sharon). The prosecutor stated that she was surprised that Sharon was not there. D's sister Krista was there with him.
There was a dialogue between the 2 parties and no resolution. The Crown (prosecuting party) made no decisions as they seemed to be in the dark about all of the events surrounding D's case. They were ill prepared. The arrest warrant and the contempt of court charges were both brought up. They did not wish to dismiss these as they were uncertain of the reciprocity between the 2 countries. Krista asked that these be dismissed as D had already been convicted of contempt and would face arrest in AZ upon his return. He could not be convicted twice of the same charges. They opted to adjourn the hearing to June 20th. D felt that they did not seem to understand that it was the Maintenance Enforcement in Canada that pushed the AZ Courts to honor the existing orders for child support. The trigger was pulled in Manitoba. The confusion remains a mystery.
Here is an exerpt fom the Manitoba Department of Justice/Family Justice/Family Law website:
"Enforcing Support Provisions Against Persons Living Outside
If a support payor lives outside of Manitoba , the order or agreement can be registered and enforced elsewhere in Canada , and even in another country as long as Manitoba
The positive outcome from the hearing was that the Crown was not going to elevate this to a show cause hearing. That was indeed good news! We must look at the bright side. We were grateful.
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The UPS Pick Up...Did We Make It?
We did not make it. We missed it by 5 minutes. It turned out to be in our favor without a doubt. It was Saturday and this would mean we would lose 2 delivery days to get D the docs.
I was with Kyle and he texted D to let him know that I did not make it. I tried and had run into some snags. I was so sorry. D texted back not to worry. I didn't. It would not change what was.
I had spent most of Saturday a.m. going through all 500 or so pages of tax returns and other papers. I wrote notes for D and organized it in sections for his ease.
I had to print some files and copy some to my flash drive. By mid afternoon the 5 lb pile was ready to take to Staples for photocopying.
I fed the photocopier sections at a time. When I was done, the copies were not collated and were completely out of order as were my originals for whatever reason. I was so discouraged. Needless to say we were at Staples much longer than anticipated and missed the last UPS pick up of the weekend.
Good thing too! I sorted through the two piles the next morning and came to find that some pages were missing and others were still out of order. I rearranged both stacks and was so glad to put the copies in a box, seal it, address it and place it at the door.
I had acquainted myself very well with that stack. This would be an advantage as I could go over it with D once he received it at the other end.
I probably watched some mindless comedy that night as I did not want to have one thinking cell in my brain do any more work. My cranium needed a siesta!
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I was with Kyle and he texted D to let him know that I did not make it. I tried and had run into some snags. I was so sorry. D texted back not to worry. I didn't. It would not change what was.
I had spent most of Saturday a.m. going through all 500 or so pages of tax returns and other papers. I wrote notes for D and organized it in sections for his ease.
I had to print some files and copy some to my flash drive. By mid afternoon the 5 lb pile was ready to take to Staples for photocopying.
I fed the photocopier sections at a time. When I was done, the copies were not collated and were completely out of order as were my originals for whatever reason. I was so discouraged. Needless to say we were at Staples much longer than anticipated and missed the last UPS pick up of the weekend.
Good thing too! I sorted through the two piles the next morning and came to find that some pages were missing and others were still out of order. I rearranged both stacks and was so glad to put the copies in a box, seal it, address it and place it at the door.
I had acquainted myself very well with that stack. This would be an advantage as I could go over it with D once he received it at the other end.
I probably watched some mindless comedy that night as I did not want to have one thinking cell in my brain do any more work. My cranium needed a siesta!
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
Mandatory Enforcement
I would never have seen this one coming. Going back one day to May 12th, 2011...yet another document arrived by mail. This time from the DES Division of Child Support. This one was titled Health Care Coverage and Cash Medical Support.
In essence, DES was required by Federal and State Law to enforce that D provide information on his health care coverage as ordered by the court on April 19th. D knew nothing of this and it was the first time he'd heard about any "health coverage" topic. This was not discussed at all during the hearing.
The paragraphs as they were written:
"If you do not give us this information, a National Medical Support Notice will be sent to your current employer. This notice will require your employer to enroll your child/(ren) in the health plan available from your employer.
If Division of Child Support Enforcement does not receive proof that you are providing medical support within 90 calendar days since your court order was signed, you will be responsible to pay a monthly cash medical support amount of TBD. This amount will be added to your child support obligation and we will begin to enforce and collect the cash medical support."
More disarming would need to occur. More energy expended. D would need to act on this and communicate with DES. Communication and common sense seemed to both be non existent. The courts had it in writing that his children and Sharon were in Canada and that they lived there. They also had their DOB's on their court orders so there was proof that they were both adults. Anyone living in the USA is very aware that insurance coverage in the USA would not cover them out of state let alone across countries. Most employees cannot afford the premiums of health care benefits. Premiums for a family would cost approximately $600.00/mo on average.
We could not spend time nor our strength on frivolities such as trying to figure out why this was going on or feeding any negativity related to it.
I emailed the scanned docs to him with some comments:
"Denis here is the form....and info.....when u call DES let them know as well that this makes no sense in 2 countries and that ur kids are adults and
Canada Ins is free.....not trying to tell u what to do or say but trying to
help so you don't always need to think of everything....I think this is the
OBAMA care stuff as mandatory.....not necessarily mandatory to cover ur kids but mandatory that DES needs to collect the info regarding your status on this issue.....what is so frustrating is that u told the courts that you
were in Canada and not working yet all of this manpower and paperwork keeps coming.....it must be auto generated because it makes no sense....yet again then it must be the gov't!!! HAHAHAHAHA!"
We had to keep it light many times because we could easily get bogged down with the weight of it all if we allowed ourselves to. Hope you readers have chuckled here and there along the way also.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
In essence, DES was required by Federal and State Law to enforce that D provide information on his health care coverage as ordered by the court on April 19th. D knew nothing of this and it was the first time he'd heard about any "health coverage" topic. This was not discussed at all during the hearing.
The paragraphs as they were written:
"If you do not give us this information, a National Medical Support Notice will be sent to your current employer. This notice will require your employer to enroll your child/(ren) in the health plan available from your employer.
If Division of Child Support Enforcement does not receive proof that you are providing medical support within 90 calendar days since your court order was signed, you will be responsible to pay a monthly cash medical support amount of TBD. This amount will be added to your child support obligation and we will begin to enforce and collect the cash medical support."
More disarming would need to occur. More energy expended. D would need to act on this and communicate with DES. Communication and common sense seemed to both be non existent. The courts had it in writing that his children and Sharon were in Canada and that they lived there. They also had their DOB's on their court orders so there was proof that they were both adults. Anyone living in the USA is very aware that insurance coverage in the USA would not cover them out of state let alone across countries. Most employees cannot afford the premiums of health care benefits. Premiums for a family would cost approximately $600.00/mo on average.
We could not spend time nor our strength on frivolities such as trying to figure out why this was going on or feeding any negativity related to it.
I emailed the scanned docs to him with some comments:
"Denis here is the form....and info.....when u call DES let them know as well that this makes no sense in 2 countries and that ur kids are adults and
Canada Ins is free.....not trying to tell u what to do or say but trying to
help so you don't always need to think of everything....I think this is the
OBAMA care stuff as mandatory.....not necessarily mandatory to cover ur kids but mandatory that DES needs to collect the info regarding your status on this issue.....what is so frustrating is that u told the courts that you
were in Canada and not working yet all of this manpower and paperwork keeps coming.....it must be auto generated because it makes no sense....yet again then it must be the gov't!!! HAHAHAHAHA!"
We had to keep it light many times because we could easily get bogged down with the weight of it all if we allowed ourselves to. Hope you readers have chuckled here and there along the way also.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
The Inaccurate Document
All of our federal returns were done correctly and filed as they should have been each and every year. This was not the problem. It was the document that accompanied the returns. This was a key item for D up in Canada.
I sent an email to my CPA, David the moment I discovered this in the morning on the 11th. He responded in the late afternoon near 1600 with the following:
"Hi B, I have briefly looked at 2009 return based on your questions. It looks as though we were not as consistent as we should have been with “XYZ” notations on "XYZ"...etc, etc"
I will not disclose the exact details at this time in order to protect the case as it unfolds. I will reveal all of the information at a later date.
That was an understatement. David and I went back and forth via email as he was going to take "the week" to review everything in order to see what was needed. We did not have the luxury of time. I stressed the urgency and with his approval and his assistant Emily's due diligence and persistence over the next 2 days, we had all of the corrected documents uploaded from their website as well as a copy of the 2007 return.
I went to the mailbox and all of our IRS transcripts arrived. I was not certain what they would show.
The transcripts were a beautiful sight to my eyes. They were accurate and they reflected the same figures as on our returns. Relief at last!! What a weight lefted from my whole body.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
I sent an email to my CPA, David the moment I discovered this in the morning on the 11th. He responded in the late afternoon near 1600 with the following:
"Hi B, I have briefly looked at 2009 return based on your questions. It looks as though we were not as consistent as we should have been with “XYZ” notations on "XYZ"...etc, etc"
I will not disclose the exact details at this time in order to protect the case as it unfolds. I will reveal all of the information at a later date.
That was an understatement. David and I went back and forth via email as he was going to take "the week" to review everything in order to see what was needed. We did not have the luxury of time. I stressed the urgency and with his approval and his assistant Emily's due diligence and persistence over the next 2 days, we had all of the corrected documents uploaded from their website as well as a copy of the 2007 return.
I went to the mailbox and all of our IRS transcripts arrived. I was not certain what they would show.
The transcripts were a beautiful sight to my eyes. They were accurate and they reflected the same figures as on our returns. Relief at last!! What a weight lefted from my whole body.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
Double Whammy on May 11th
By that afternoon I felt emotionally drained. The day was still young. I retrieved the mail and there was yet another letter from the Maricopa County Superior Court.
It was the "fill in the blanks" handwritten version of the findings from April 19th. The "COPY" of what was transcribed in the courtroom that day. OK nothing new. Whew!
Then, I read the last page that came with the documents. This paper was orange. It was "Important Information about the Judgment and Order". Most of the information I was aware of. There was one bullet that gave me a jab to the side. I will not disclose the exact information at this time in order to protect the case as it unfolds. I will reveal all of the information at a later date.
I had spoken to D earlier in the day to let him know about the tax debacle. I brought him current in the early evening.
I emailed him these new court docs after we'd talked. Both of us felt quite a bit of pressure that day. These reality checks kept it feeling very real. Moving forward though. We had to keep it all together and stay strong for ourselves and each other.
D would call DES here in AZ and let them know again that he was in Canada so that it could be noted in his files.
I would do everything in my power to get the necessary documents to him on time.
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It was the "fill in the blanks" handwritten version of the findings from April 19th. The "COPY" of what was transcribed in the courtroom that day. OK nothing new. Whew!
Then, I read the last page that came with the documents. This paper was orange. It was "Important Information about the Judgment and Order". Most of the information I was aware of. There was one bullet that gave me a jab to the side. I will not disclose the exact information at this time in order to protect the case as it unfolds. I will reveal all of the information at a later date.
I had spoken to D earlier in the day to let him know about the tax debacle. I brought him current in the early evening.
I emailed him these new court docs after we'd talked. Both of us felt quite a bit of pressure that day. These reality checks kept it feeling very real. Moving forward though. We had to keep it all together and stay strong for ourselves and each other.
D would call DES here in AZ and let them know again that he was in Canada so that it could be noted in his files.
I would do everything in my power to get the necessary documents to him on time.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
The Dreaded Tax Returns
I had spent Mother's Day weekend attempting to locate all of our tax returns from 2001 through 2009. Our 2010 taxes were not yet completed. They would not be until October most likely. This was typical.
I managed to find all returns except 2006 and 2007. I kept looking for those as well as a few other documents that D needed. Between all of my client papers and business papers, I had boxes and boxes of files to go through. This would take several days.
By May 11th I had only the 2007 tax return to locate. I was feeling pretty good and knew we could get a copy of that return from our CPA so I started going through the paperwork year by year. My heart sank when I got to the end of the first return which was 2009. There was one specific document of importance to me and the figures were not accurate. I will not disclose the exact deatails at this time in order to protect the case as it unfolds. I will reveal all of the information at a later date.What a major road block. I was burning daylight and all I could focus on was getting those documents to D on time to file for the May 24th court date.
I leafed through the other returns and the error was on every document of every year. Why did not matter. What to do now did!
Think, think, think B!
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I managed to find all returns except 2006 and 2007. I kept looking for those as well as a few other documents that D needed. Between all of my client papers and business papers, I had boxes and boxes of files to go through. This would take several days.
By May 11th I had only the 2007 tax return to locate. I was feeling pretty good and knew we could get a copy of that return from our CPA so I started going through the paperwork year by year. My heart sank when I got to the end of the first return which was 2009. There was one specific document of importance to me and the figures were not accurate. I will not disclose the exact deatails at this time in order to protect the case as it unfolds. I will reveal all of the information at a later date.What a major road block. I was burning daylight and all I could focus on was getting those documents to D on time to file for the May 24th court date.
I leafed through the other returns and the error was on every document of every year. Why did not matter. What to do now did!
Think, think, think B!
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Friday, May 20, 2011
Happy Mother's Day!
Later in the morning of May 7th I was engaged in many tasks. Kyle did come home at about 0830. He called me out to the back yard appearing very worried. I was not sure what to expect due to the exciting morning I'd already had. What could be out back?
It was a dozen red roses and the most beautiful card. Kyle said, "Happy Mother's Day Mom." It was such a warm moment and I soaked it up. It was the perfect timing. I gave him such a big hug. I actually turned on my AC unit in order to keep the roses from wilting as it was about 83 degrees in the house.
The following day was Mother's Day. I had a great Sunday but the BEST thing of all was taking my boys out for coffee. I wanted to spend an hour or two just "shootin the shit" with them. Amber joined us as well. She is Stephan's girlfriend. I was glad to be with all of them.
We did exactly that. We laughed and we talked about our trip to Canada. All of us were looking forward to it...to having the whole clan together again. I expressed to both boys that they had each enriched my life enormously by being who they were. They had taught me so much. I appreciated their individuality and their fervor. I wanted them to know that I supported them in their growth. They did not belong to me. I brought them into the world as two beautiful beings. I viewed them as such. It was so important to me that they know I did not have any expectations of them. I only desired that they be true to who they were and follow their paths as they chose. I love them so much.
We were there about two hours at the Solo Cafe in Tempe, AZ. It was sunny, breezy and we sat outside in the shade. It was all so perfect!
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It was a dozen red roses and the most beautiful card. Kyle said, "Happy Mother's Day Mom." It was such a warm moment and I soaked it up. It was the perfect timing. I gave him such a big hug. I actually turned on my AC unit in order to keep the roses from wilting as it was about 83 degrees in the house.
The following day was Mother's Day. I had a great Sunday but the BEST thing of all was taking my boys out for coffee. I wanted to spend an hour or two just "shootin the shit" with them. Amber joined us as well. She is Stephan's girlfriend. I was glad to be with all of them.
We did exactly that. We laughed and we talked about our trip to Canada. All of us were looking forward to it...to having the whole clan together again. I expressed to both boys that they had each enriched my life enormously by being who they were. They had taught me so much. I appreciated their individuality and their fervor. I wanted them to know that I supported them in their growth. They did not belong to me. I brought them into the world as two beautiful beings. I viewed them as such. It was so important to me that they know I did not have any expectations of them. I only desired that they be true to who they were and follow their paths as they chose. I love them so much.
We were there about two hours at the Solo Cafe in Tempe, AZ. It was sunny, breezy and we sat outside in the shade. It was all so perfect!
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
Communication Breakdown
I believe that the search of my home happened due to a breakdown in communication between departments within the Court System. The Arrest Warrant was most likely generated electronically once inputted into the system. I am assuming it was then sent to the appropriate department that would be responsible for the arrest.
Although the Court was informed that D was in Canada and they allowed him to appear telephonically, it would seem that their findings would not transfer or be forwarded to that division following the April 19th hearing.
The arresting officers appeared puzzled and asked numerous questions of me about D's case. They were doing their job and I realized that.
This little adventure, I would later discover would be the first of more perplexing occurrences.
"Effective communication is like exercise. We all know how to do it. We all know that we should do it. Yet it's often neglected."
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Although the Court was informed that D was in Canada and they allowed him to appear telephonically, it would seem that their findings would not transfer or be forwarded to that division following the April 19th hearing.
The arresting officers appeared puzzled and asked numerous questions of me about D's case. They were doing their job and I realized that.
This little adventure, I would later discover would be the first of more perplexing occurrences.
"Effective communication is like exercise. We all know how to do it. We all know that we should do it. Yet it's often neglected."
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Sheriff Joe's Boys Come Knocking!
On May 7th, 2011 the door bell rang at my home at 0510. The sun was barely rising so it was still fairly dark out. I thought it was Kyle as he had gone out with a buddy and I knew he'd be out late. I thought he had forgotten his key. I was groggy as I had not slept well through the night. I was walking to the front door going down the hallway and I called out, "Kyle?" His bedroom window was open and it was adjacent to the front door. He would have heard me and responded but there was silence.
I turned the porch light on and looked through our beveled glass window in the front door. The figure of who was at the door was ambiguous. It could have been Kyle and frankly I just assumed it was. I looked more closely and saw 2 figures and thought he had a friend with him.
I opened the door and was slightly stunned by the two men who stood there. They immediately stated they were from the Maricopa County Sheriff's Department and that they wanted to speak to DM. I saw the shorter officer pull his badge out and let it hang on his chest. The 2nd officer followed suit.
I told them that he was not here. They repeated exactly what I just stated, "He's not here?" Again I told them that he was not here and that he was in Canada. I informed them that the courts here knew that because D had appeared telephonically for a hearing on April 19th. They proceeded to tell me that they had an arrest warrant for D. I concurred. They stated that they would need to come in to take a look. I responded, "You can't come into my house." They stated that they had a warrant for DM's arrest and that they needed to search the house. I asked, "So you can just come into my house?" They replied, "Yes we can. We have a warrant for Mr. M's arrest. They asked me if they could come in and my thoughts were racing. I had a second or two to answer.
Why engage in a scene when I knew that there was an arrest warrant out for him and that he was not here anyway. I had nothing to hide. No points needed to be proven to anyone including myself. I thought I'd just get this over with so that they could satisfy their search. I told them that they could come in and look.
Flashlights and all...from room to room as the two of them split up. I stayed with one of them and turned on lights in each room. I pointed to my bed. I said, "As you can see he has not been here. My bed has been like this for over a month now." D's side stayed perfectly made up every night. Once the officer saw the bed I felt as though he was satisfied and believed me that D was not here. He apologized and let me know that they were just doing their job. I let him know that I understood that. We stopped and spoke for a bit in the kitchen.
They did not continue to look in the garage or the laundry room. They were confused. They asked me several questions. Often the same question in a different format. I ended up explaining to them the reciprocity that existed with family court orders between Canada and the USA. I expounded that all of this was initiated in Canada and that the courts here were honoring what orders were being enforced from there. It was that simple. That was the reason that D was in Canada and not here. He was there to try to change the orders. They were very attentive when I was speaking. I concluded that they were hearing something completely brand new for the very first time ever! They vocalized that they did not know that this was even possible. They cautioned me to be sure that when the changes were made in Canada that I file these changes with the courts here in AZ. This would prevent D from being arrested as he deplaned or entered the country. Now they were trying to help and I recognized this. They expressed that they would write all of this information in their report so as not to have this occur again.
As they were leaving they turned back and one of them said, "Sounds like a mess." I added, "Yes it is a mess and D hasn't seen his kids in 11 years. That's why he's there taking care of this."
They left and apologized again. I wished them a good day.
Their car drove off after they walked to it parked several houses down the street.
It all seemd so surreal. I walked around the house for a few minutes absorbing what had just transpired.
I texted D that Sheriff Joe's boys had just searched our house. I think D's response text was the quickest one I'd ever received! Texting was not his forte AND D was very well aware of Sheriff Joe's Posse!
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I turned the porch light on and looked through our beveled glass window in the front door. The figure of who was at the door was ambiguous. It could have been Kyle and frankly I just assumed it was. I looked more closely and saw 2 figures and thought he had a friend with him.
I opened the door and was slightly stunned by the two men who stood there. They immediately stated they were from the Maricopa County Sheriff's Department and that they wanted to speak to DM. I saw the shorter officer pull his badge out and let it hang on his chest. The 2nd officer followed suit.
I told them that he was not here. They repeated exactly what I just stated, "He's not here?" Again I told them that he was not here and that he was in Canada. I informed them that the courts here knew that because D had appeared telephonically for a hearing on April 19th. They proceeded to tell me that they had an arrest warrant for D. I concurred. They stated that they would need to come in to take a look. I responded, "You can't come into my house." They stated that they had a warrant for DM's arrest and that they needed to search the house. I asked, "So you can just come into my house?" They replied, "Yes we can. We have a warrant for Mr. M's arrest. They asked me if they could come in and my thoughts were racing. I had a second or two to answer.
Why engage in a scene when I knew that there was an arrest warrant out for him and that he was not here anyway. I had nothing to hide. No points needed to be proven to anyone including myself. I thought I'd just get this over with so that they could satisfy their search. I told them that they could come in and look.
Flashlights and all...from room to room as the two of them split up. I stayed with one of them and turned on lights in each room. I pointed to my bed. I said, "As you can see he has not been here. My bed has been like this for over a month now." D's side stayed perfectly made up every night. Once the officer saw the bed I felt as though he was satisfied and believed me that D was not here. He apologized and let me know that they were just doing their job. I let him know that I understood that. We stopped and spoke for a bit in the kitchen.
They did not continue to look in the garage or the laundry room. They were confused. They asked me several questions. Often the same question in a different format. I ended up explaining to them the reciprocity that existed with family court orders between Canada and the USA. I expounded that all of this was initiated in Canada and that the courts here were honoring what orders were being enforced from there. It was that simple. That was the reason that D was in Canada and not here. He was there to try to change the orders. They were very attentive when I was speaking. I concluded that they were hearing something completely brand new for the very first time ever! They vocalized that they did not know that this was even possible. They cautioned me to be sure that when the changes were made in Canada that I file these changes with the courts here in AZ. This would prevent D from being arrested as he deplaned or entered the country. Now they were trying to help and I recognized this. They expressed that they would write all of this information in their report so as not to have this occur again.
As they were leaving they turned back and one of them said, "Sounds like a mess." I added, "Yes it is a mess and D hasn't seen his kids in 11 years. That's why he's there taking care of this."
They left and apologized again. I wished them a good day.
Their car drove off after they walked to it parked several houses down the street.
It all seemd so surreal. I walked around the house for a few minutes absorbing what had just transpired.
I texted D that Sheriff Joe's boys had just searched our house. I think D's response text was the quickest one I'd ever received! Texting was not his forte AND D was very well aware of Sheriff Joe's Posse!
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Thursday, May 19, 2011
Gathering Of The Documents...Ugh!
There was no getting away from this mountain of paperwork ahead of me. D needed the docs and I needed to get them to him ASAP. He needed them the week of May 17th, 2011. The docs needed to be filed with the Court prior to his May 24th court date. First things first...the documents from the IRS.
I called several numbers at DES and Child Support Services here in AZ to find out what they would require of a parent from the IRS for proof of income. The answer was nothing but the last 2 years tax returns or pay stubs.
I called our IRS to find out about this "notice of assessment" that was requested from the Court in Canada. It was a letter of sorts that would state something such as the taxes had been done for the past 10 years and that they had been filed accurately. After numerous calls to different IRS departments, I came to find out that no such letter would ever exist as the IRS had no Statute of Limitations on Tax Fraud per the Publication 17 Tax Guide 2010. OK!
The fellow I was speaking to in the Advanced Accounts Department with the IRS was so congenial. He informed me that one could request a 4506T Form in order to have the financial status of one's returns retrieved from the database (called an account transcript). Great! I asked if I could download it from the IRS site and he said, "No." He went on to say that it could be requested by phone (the form) and it would be mailed out to my home. Once filled out and sent, I'd have to allow 30 days for the IRS to send me the transcripts. I was shaking my head as he spoke. This would NOT be ok. I certainly wasn't shocked by this news. After all, this was the government I was dealing with. This guy must have sensed my desperation when I said, "Oh my. I really don't have that kind of time. Yes, please send me the form." What happened next was "the flow" moving in the right direction. It was actually incredible! I was so grateful.
This wonderful man I was speaking with said, "Well let me see if I can pull it up while we're on the phone. Do you have a few minutes...because I will have to put you on hold while the transcripts upload. I can't guarantee you anything but let's give it a try. I will put in the request and we'll see what happens ok? This is all done electronically."
Hell yes I had a few minutes. I could not believe my ears. This was a great human being I happened upon that day. He came back on the line once or twice as the transcripts were uploading to check in and at the end he confirmed that all 9 years had uploaded successfully and would be sent out immediately. I should get them in 7-10 days. I expressed my gratitude to him and bid him a fantastic day.
I am shaking my head in disbelief as I write now. I will not question why this happened. I was and am so thankful!
Tackling our tax returns would be next. It was already the end of the week since Tuesday's Court date. Time was flying!
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
I called several numbers at DES and Child Support Services here in AZ to find out what they would require of a parent from the IRS for proof of income. The answer was nothing but the last 2 years tax returns or pay stubs.
I called our IRS to find out about this "notice of assessment" that was requested from the Court in Canada. It was a letter of sorts that would state something such as the taxes had been done for the past 10 years and that they had been filed accurately. After numerous calls to different IRS departments, I came to find out that no such letter would ever exist as the IRS had no Statute of Limitations on Tax Fraud per the Publication 17 Tax Guide 2010. OK!
The fellow I was speaking to in the Advanced Accounts Department with the IRS was so congenial. He informed me that one could request a 4506T Form in order to have the financial status of one's returns retrieved from the database (called an account transcript). Great! I asked if I could download it from the IRS site and he said, "No." He went on to say that it could be requested by phone (the form) and it would be mailed out to my home. Once filled out and sent, I'd have to allow 30 days for the IRS to send me the transcripts. I was shaking my head as he spoke. This would NOT be ok. I certainly wasn't shocked by this news. After all, this was the government I was dealing with. This guy must have sensed my desperation when I said, "Oh my. I really don't have that kind of time. Yes, please send me the form." What happened next was "the flow" moving in the right direction. It was actually incredible! I was so grateful.
This wonderful man I was speaking with said, "Well let me see if I can pull it up while we're on the phone. Do you have a few minutes...because I will have to put you on hold while the transcripts upload. I can't guarantee you anything but let's give it a try. I will put in the request and we'll see what happens ok? This is all done electronically."
Hell yes I had a few minutes. I could not believe my ears. This was a great human being I happened upon that day. He came back on the line once or twice as the transcripts were uploading to check in and at the end he confirmed that all 9 years had uploaded successfully and would be sent out immediately. I should get them in 7-10 days. I expressed my gratitude to him and bid him a fantastic day.
I am shaking my head in disbelief as I write now. I will not question why this happened. I was and am so thankful!
Tackling our tax returns would be next. It was already the end of the week since Tuesday's Court date. Time was flying!
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
A Flash Of A Jail Term
D's take on the day was pretty healthy. We spoke as soon as we could. He'd spent about 4 hours in jail. He felt calm and strong. He laid on the cell bench and thought for quite a while. It had been a long day.
His initial meeting of Sharon's attourney ("Atty") was brief but interesting. D felt his behaviour to be less than professional. D had been around many attourneys in family court. The following is transcribed as I understood it. D may correct it when he reads this Blog entry.
#1...D approached the clerk/motions co-ordinator desk to let them know that he was there for his motion hearing (where they would most likely send them in to have a case conference). Atty stepped up as well and requested today's motion be adjourned (stall tactic most likely). D asserted that he was not in agreement and wanted to be seen by a Standby Judge today and dispense (do away with) the Case Conference altogether.
(A case conference is the informal meeting between the parties, their lawyers (if they are represented) and a judge). Nothing would be accomplished at a case conference and more time would be wasted. They were sent to the next desk.
#2...D and Atty were at the next clerk/motions co-ordinator desk to state that the parties were here and D asked to go before a Standby Judge. D had been informed earlier that he would be handcuffed after speaking to the clerk. The clerk asked that D's court files be picked up from the back counter on the main floor. D stated he'd be glad to get them but that he would be in handcuffs within a few minutes. The clerk then turned to Atty and he refused. He stated, "You're the moving party (D) so you go get them." The clerk actually commented to Atty, "Are you serious? You are not going to pick up the file? Is that what you are saying?" This went back and forth a few times before Atty finally accepted the file requisition form from the clerk in order to go retrieve the files. He would never look D in the eye from the moment their paths crossed.
#3...D was walking away from the clerk desk and knew he'd be handcuffed. He asked Steve to take some pictures of it. He was also shackled. I am not certain he was expecting that. Steve did get one great photo. There was some protest and inquisition (from Sheriffs) about whether he was taking pictures or not. Steve fired back a rebuttal or two and then let it go as he had gotten the photograph. I was so proud that he had the courage to stand up and as a sovereign being at that moment! D walked into the courtroom to face the judge. Sheriffs on either side of him.
#4...During the hearing D had to correct Atty a few times as his information was not accurate. D noticed Atty looking back at Sharon during one of these "redirections of information" with a puzzled look on his face...almost as if to let her know that he was not pleased at having been misinformed.
#5...D felt that he had represented himself well, he was asked to get specific documents together (sworn financials, tax returns letter from the IRS etc.), he had to promise to appear at a later date, the judge expressed that he was not going to be reading through the file today and advised D to get an attourney.
#6...D was taken to jail where he chatted with the officers about sports and other topics. He stated they were very pleasant. Approximately 4 hours later he was released!
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His initial meeting of Sharon's attourney ("Atty") was brief but interesting. D felt his behaviour to be less than professional. D had been around many attourneys in family court. The following is transcribed as I understood it. D may correct it when he reads this Blog entry.
#1...D approached the clerk/motions co-ordinator desk to let them know that he was there for his motion hearing (where they would most likely send them in to have a case conference). Atty stepped up as well and requested today's motion be adjourned (stall tactic most likely). D asserted that he was not in agreement and wanted to be seen by a Standby Judge today and dispense (do away with) the Case Conference altogether.
(A case conference is the informal meeting between the parties, their lawyers (if they are represented) and a judge). Nothing would be accomplished at a case conference and more time would be wasted. They were sent to the next desk.
#2...D and Atty were at the next clerk/motions co-ordinator desk to state that the parties were here and D asked to go before a Standby Judge. D had been informed earlier that he would be handcuffed after speaking to the clerk. The clerk asked that D's court files be picked up from the back counter on the main floor. D stated he'd be glad to get them but that he would be in handcuffs within a few minutes. The clerk then turned to Atty and he refused. He stated, "You're the moving party (D) so you go get them." The clerk actually commented to Atty, "Are you serious? You are not going to pick up the file? Is that what you are saying?" This went back and forth a few times before Atty finally accepted the file requisition form from the clerk in order to go retrieve the files. He would never look D in the eye from the moment their paths crossed.
#3...D was walking away from the clerk desk and knew he'd be handcuffed. He asked Steve to take some pictures of it. He was also shackled. I am not certain he was expecting that. Steve did get one great photo. There was some protest and inquisition (from Sheriffs) about whether he was taking pictures or not. Steve fired back a rebuttal or two and then let it go as he had gotten the photograph. I was so proud that he had the courage to stand up and as a sovereign being at that moment! D walked into the courtroom to face the judge. Sheriffs on either side of him.
#4...During the hearing D had to correct Atty a few times as his information was not accurate. D noticed Atty looking back at Sharon during one of these "redirections of information" with a puzzled look on his face...almost as if to let her know that he was not pleased at having been misinformed.
#5...D felt that he had represented himself well, he was asked to get specific documents together (sworn financials, tax returns letter from the IRS etc.), he had to promise to appear at a later date, the judge expressed that he was not going to be reading through the file today and advised D to get an attourney.
#6...D was taken to jail where he chatted with the officers about sports and other topics. He stated they were very pleasant. Approximately 4 hours later he was released!
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Monday, May 16, 2011
Krista's Expertise
By mid afternoon Krista had called me to let me know that D would be released later that day. Unbelievable! I didn't know all of the details that led up to this decision but I was so grateful to her. Kudos!
She filled me in on all of the particulars of the 10 mins court hearing earlier that morning. D had done a very good job of representing himself. She was very proud of him. She stated he was a little choked up when he spoke of his children but that he paused and continued without difficulty.
We spoke about several things and I enjoyed connecting with her. We discussed what the courts were asking for. I would need to gather up all of our tax returns from the past 10 years and get some type of "notice of assessment" from the IRS. No problem. Whatever they needed I would get. Krista and D would work on what they needed on their end.
Krista had some concerns about our tax returns having been filed jointly. I reassured her that she needed to not worry because D owned nothing, had no bank accounts, had no investments, had never borrowed any money nor did he ever have a credit card. Nothing was in his name. He was never able to acquire anything requiring financing as he had no credit due to the lien placed on it years ago. There was nothing to hide. His assets were $0.00.
Krista stated, "You're lying, he does own a utility trailer worth $100.00." We laughed because this was in fact the only material item that D owned. I had forgotten that crucial tidbit of information.
Laughter is good medicine. It is natural.
Naturally she was concerned about her brother. They loved each other quite a bit. D called her "kiddo" for years. He had always felt very protective of her as his "little" sister. I reassured her that D was in a great place. He was the strongest he had ever been and that no matter what would happen, he would be just fine. He was ready.
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She filled me in on all of the particulars of the 10 mins court hearing earlier that morning. D had done a very good job of representing himself. She was very proud of him. She stated he was a little choked up when he spoke of his children but that he paused and continued without difficulty.
We spoke about several things and I enjoyed connecting with her. We discussed what the courts were asking for. I would need to gather up all of our tax returns from the past 10 years and get some type of "notice of assessment" from the IRS. No problem. Whatever they needed I would get. Krista and D would work on what they needed on their end.
Krista had some concerns about our tax returns having been filed jointly. I reassured her that she needed to not worry because D owned nothing, had no bank accounts, had no investments, had never borrowed any money nor did he ever have a credit card. Nothing was in his name. He was never able to acquire anything requiring financing as he had no credit due to the lien placed on it years ago. There was nothing to hide. His assets were $0.00.
Krista stated, "You're lying, he does own a utility trailer worth $100.00." We laughed because this was in fact the only material item that D owned. I had forgotten that crucial tidbit of information.
Laughter is good medicine. It is natural.
Naturally she was concerned about her brother. They loved each other quite a bit. D called her "kiddo" for years. He had always felt very protective of her as his "little" sister. I reassured her that D was in a great place. He was the strongest he had ever been and that no matter what would happen, he would be just fine. He was ready.
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Sending Love To Sharon
I thought about Sharon pointing D out to the Sheriffs. I actually felt a great sense of sadness for her. What was she afraid of? Only she knew. I pondered this for a while and realized that she was most likely exactly in the same place as 10 years prior. No personal growth seemed to have occurred. I had felt this was the case because of the goings on over the past 9 months but this made it very real for me. So many thoughts were in my head. How would her game plan solve anything? Without coming together in a peaceful way, what could be accomplished?
I sent her good thoughts and alot of love. I remember thinking I would send her triple, quadruple the love that I normally sent out her way. I had no anger toward her at all. Anger had never been an emotion triggered when I'd thought of Sharon.
I thought of their children A and R. What could their lives have been like? What had been told to them? I sent them alot of love as well.
There was always hope. An open door existed for anyone who chose to walk through it.
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I sent her good thoughts and alot of love. I remember thinking I would send her triple, quadruple the love that I normally sent out her way. I had no anger toward her at all. Anger had never been an emotion triggered when I'd thought of Sharon.
I thought of their children A and R. What could their lives have been like? What had been told to them? I sent them alot of love as well.
There was always hope. An open door existed for anyone who chose to walk through it.
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Motion Court Day...Jail?
Well Tuesday, May 3rd 2011 had arrived. Motion Court 0900 Winnipeg time.
I had solicited support once again from our friends out here. I was so grateful for all of them. Their well wishes meant so much to us both.
D and I had a plan that if he was taken to jail, his brother would let me know what happened and all of D's belongings would be in Steve's possession.
It was going on nearly 2 hours and I had heard nothing. My heart was beating a little faster and my mind started wandering. Then my home phone rang. The caller ID read Steve's phone number. I answered...nothing at the other end. I called the number back...dead. I tried several times, the phone rang several times, but everytime...nothing.
I decided to try my cell phone and called Steve's phone. It went straight to voicemail a few times. That was a long few minutes.
Finally we connected. Steve stated that once near the courtroom, Sharon pointed to D and was overheard by Steve saying something to the effect of, "That's him. You need to arrest him. He has a warrant." D was handcuffed and shackled and faced the judge this way.
D instructed Steve to get some pictures and he did so. He was told by the Sheriff that he could not take photos. Steve was successful at getting at least one pretty good one. I was so proud that he had the courage to do this. He also was taking some written notes for D. His entire family was there for him.
Steve shared a few details of what had happened but he was still at the courthouse and the reception was poor so we only spoke a few minutes.
My heart sank once I was alone with my thoughts and feelings. I was expecting this but there was no way I could have been fully prepared. I stayed strong and focused on the quest in front of us.
I informed all of our friends and the boys. This was a leap forward and I felt it.
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I had solicited support once again from our friends out here. I was so grateful for all of them. Their well wishes meant so much to us both.
D and I had a plan that if he was taken to jail, his brother would let me know what happened and all of D's belongings would be in Steve's possession.
It was going on nearly 2 hours and I had heard nothing. My heart was beating a little faster and my mind started wandering. Then my home phone rang. The caller ID read Steve's phone number. I answered...nothing at the other end. I called the number back...dead. I tried several times, the phone rang several times, but everytime...nothing.
I decided to try my cell phone and called Steve's phone. It went straight to voicemail a few times. That was a long few minutes.
Finally we connected. Steve stated that once near the courtroom, Sharon pointed to D and was overheard by Steve saying something to the effect of, "That's him. You need to arrest him. He has a warrant." D was handcuffed and shackled and faced the judge this way.
D instructed Steve to get some pictures and he did so. He was told by the Sheriff that he could not take photos. Steve was successful at getting at least one pretty good one. I was so proud that he had the courage to do this. He also was taking some written notes for D. His entire family was there for him.
Steve shared a few details of what had happened but he was still at the courthouse and the reception was poor so we only spoke a few minutes.
My heart sank once I was alone with my thoughts and feelings. I was expecting this but there was no way I could have been fully prepared. I stayed strong and focused on the quest in front of us.
I informed all of our friends and the boys. This was a leap forward and I felt it.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Another Letter From the Courts
On April 27th the document outlining the details of D's Enforcement Hearing from the 19th arrived by mail. I immediately felt my emotions start climbing from my gut up.
There were a few surprises on the document that I was not prepared for.
The court knew that D was in Canada working on this case. They however set his support payments to commence May 1st, 2010. The new totals would include a set arrears amount of $300. New total would be $1166.91/mo.
"IT IS FURTHER ORDERED that Father shall pay to Mother for child support of the minor child/ren of the parties..." Both children were adults. Where did that come from?
Once again, I communicated with D. These calls were not pleasant to say the least. They left me feeling drained and I knew they were difficult on him as well. It would be so easy to allow the emotions to take over. It took effort to keep them in check.
All docs were scanned and emailed so that he had everything should he need it at any time.
One valuable piece of information was that a CD of the proceedings could be ordered. Instantly I thought of the documentary. I would look into what needed to be done to get a copy.
That was the break in the clouds!
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There were a few surprises on the document that I was not prepared for.
The court knew that D was in Canada working on this case. They however set his support payments to commence May 1st, 2010. The new totals would include a set arrears amount of $300. New total would be $1166.91/mo.
"IT IS FURTHER ORDERED that Father shall pay to Mother for child support of the minor child/ren of the parties..." Both children were adults. Where did that come from?
Once again, I communicated with D. These calls were not pleasant to say the least. They left me feeling drained and I knew they were difficult on him as well. It would be so easy to allow the emotions to take over. It took effort to keep them in check.
All docs were scanned and emailed so that he had everything should he need it at any time.
One valuable piece of information was that a CD of the proceedings could be ordered. Instantly I thought of the documentary. I would look into what needed to be done to get a copy.
That was the break in the clouds!
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Chatting With D's Buddy!
The current events led me to go out and meet up with some friends. I met a couple at a little restaurant and we had Happy Hour on the patio. We had known this couple for quite a few years. Dave was D's good friend and golf buddy. They shared common traits. Dave was a great guy and D loved his positive attitude. Dave and D kept in touch via text since his departure. D had conveyed to me that Dave's little jokes and funny texts kept him going and he really was grateful for those. I'd shared this with his good friend.
Mari and Dave were filled in on the latest news of the day. It was great to be able to chat with someone and get a different perspective.
Dave commented on how he thought D should remain free as long as he could. Why turn yourself in when you don't even know if there is a warrant out. It wasn't as though D was knowingly running from a warrant. D would be in a courthouse soon enough with the possibility if being jailed at that time. Why expedite it? This solidified D's thoughts and he would wait until May 3rd, the day he would go to motion court.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families.
Mari and Dave were filled in on the latest news of the day. It was great to be able to chat with someone and get a different perspective.
Dave commented on how he thought D should remain free as long as he could. Why turn yourself in when you don't even know if there is a warrant out. It wasn't as though D was knowingly running from a warrant. D would be in a courthouse soon enough with the possibility if being jailed at that time. Why expedite it? This solidified D's thoughts and he would wait until May 3rd, the day he would go to motion court.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families.
Good Friday...Police Inquire About D
I believe that serving the papers to Sharon the prior evening, was the catalyst to the police being summoned to look for D on Good Friday morning.
D had been staying with family since he had arrived in Manitoba. He had been at his brother's, my brother's and his sister's among several visits at other locations across the city. On Thursday night the 21st, D opted to go spend some time with a cousin of his.
The police showed up at D's mom's on the morning of the 22nd. He had not stayed at her place. She could not help them and did not know where he had gone. The police would not tell her what it was regarding.
They were back an hour or so later inquiring again as they had noticed a truck pull up and thought it might have been D. Well it was not. Alice asked what it was that D had done. An officer responded something to the effect of, "It's not what he's done. It's what he hasn't done."
Shortly thereafter the police arrived at Krista's home looking for her brother. The response was similar. They did not know where D was and they could not assist the police in any way.
I recall my reaction being one of sarcasm. It was humourous to me for some reason. D and I were conversing by phone as he filled me in on the details.
I joked with D, "Big ****** manhunt in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. Most notorious Dead Beat Dad comes back to town. The search for him has begun."
I knew the case was no laughing matter. Certain actions and reactions to it were comical. The common sense element was not common. We could not make sense of much of it and it was a waste of energy trying. Our decisions about everything came from within us. Always going back to the core. This kept us very well grounded.
Remember that not one department could give us a concrete answer on whether D had an arrest warrant or not in Manitoba.
One day of freedom at a time.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families.
D had been staying with family since he had arrived in Manitoba. He had been at his brother's, my brother's and his sister's among several visits at other locations across the city. On Thursday night the 21st, D opted to go spend some time with a cousin of his.
The police showed up at D's mom's on the morning of the 22nd. He had not stayed at her place. She could not help them and did not know where he had gone. The police would not tell her what it was regarding.
They were back an hour or so later inquiring again as they had noticed a truck pull up and thought it might have been D. Well it was not. Alice asked what it was that D had done. An officer responded something to the effect of, "It's not what he's done. It's what he hasn't done."
Shortly thereafter the police arrived at Krista's home looking for her brother. The response was similar. They did not know where D was and they could not assist the police in any way.
I recall my reaction being one of sarcasm. It was humourous to me for some reason. D and I were conversing by phone as he filled me in on the details.
I joked with D, "Big ****** manhunt in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. Most notorious Dead Beat Dad comes back to town. The search for him has begun."
I knew the case was no laughing matter. Certain actions and reactions to it were comical. The common sense element was not common. We could not make sense of much of it and it was a waste of energy trying. Our decisions about everything came from within us. Always going back to the core. This kept us very well grounded.
Remember that not one department could give us a concrete answer on whether D had an arrest warrant or not in Manitoba.
One day of freedom at a time.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Serving Sharon With Papers
By April 21st, D had completed his lengthy Affidavit with the assistance of his sister Krista and her wife Kristine. Both attourneys contributed their expertise. D felt that his thoughts were all over the place. He knew what he wanted to say but could not get it from his head to the paper in the manner he needed. He had gone through stacks of documents, history of events in his head and emotions that accompanied it all. It was a challenge to say the least. They were invaluable in pulling it all together. We are very grateful for them.
The Affidavit was complete and ready to be served. This was the beginning for D with the court process.
Sharon was served that evening by a family member of mine, Anita. Our families...astounding!
Sharon answered the door, opened the door a crack and Anita stated she could barely get the envelope through it. This exact sequence is a carbon copy of when papers were served to her in 2001 by Anita as well.
The week had been eventful and it was not quite over.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families.
The Affidavit was complete and ready to be served. This was the beginning for D with the court process.
Sharon was served that evening by a family member of mine, Anita. Our families...astounding!
Sharon answered the door, opened the door a crack and Anita stated she could barely get the envelope through it. This exact sequence is a carbon copy of when papers were served to her in 2001 by Anita as well.
The week had been eventful and it was not quite over.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families.
April 19th, 2011
I had solicited our friends' support in a mass email/text earlier that day. I was awaiting a text from D at about 2:00 AZ time as 15 mins would be over by then. His appearance was at 1:30 p.m. I checked my phone at 2:30... no message. I texted D and he responded that it was "still on. They think I am a real estate developer and they don't beleive that I am in Canada." I was driving and I started laughing. None of this surprised me. It had almost become a comedy. I am chuckling as I write in the Blog. Sharon would provide the courts with inaccurate information and it was accepted as fact. D would always have to assert that the information was false. There was a time several months back that the DES child support division here in AZ thought D was an engineer and that he was making a significant income. Once again, false information.
It was not until just before 4:00 p.m. here that D and I talked over the phone. He felt he had handled it pretty well. He caught in on film also. In summary:
Sharon had tried several times to bring up past topics and was redirected to discuss what was at hand. She insisted that D could not be in Canada because he couldn't get into the country without a passport. D offered to address this with the Courts and was told it would not be necessary. D heard whispers in the background when Sharon spoke. She was being advised from an attourney's office. D could see the number on the call display while they were conferenced in together. They would also see where he was calling from. By the end, D was found to be in "contempt of Court for failure to comply with a valid support order from Canada, a child support Arrest Warrant would be issued for DM, and a cash purge release amount would be set at $5000.00."
The courts had the cash purge commencing at $500 but Sharon contested that. It was then set at $5000.00 despite her continued protest of the amount. She requested that it be much higher. D expressed that he had no money, was unemployed and was in Canada taking care of this so he would not be able to pay the amount at this time.
Both of us took the news in stride and we were not dismayed.
This was a necessary step toward the goal.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families.
It was not until just before 4:00 p.m. here that D and I talked over the phone. He felt he had handled it pretty well. He caught in on film also. In summary:
Sharon had tried several times to bring up past topics and was redirected to discuss what was at hand. She insisted that D could not be in Canada because he couldn't get into the country without a passport. D offered to address this with the Courts and was told it would not be necessary. D heard whispers in the background when Sharon spoke. She was being advised from an attourney's office. D could see the number on the call display while they were conferenced in together. They would also see where he was calling from. By the end, D was found to be in "contempt of Court for failure to comply with a valid support order from Canada, a child support Arrest Warrant would be issued for DM, and a cash purge release amount would be set at $5000.00."
The courts had the cash purge commencing at $500 but Sharon contested that. It was then set at $5000.00 despite her continued protest of the amount. She requested that it be much higher. D expressed that he had no money, was unemployed and was in Canada taking care of this so he would not be able to pay the amount at this time.
Both of us took the news in stride and we were not dismayed.
This was a necessary step toward the goal.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families.
The AZ Court Date
On the late afternoon of April 14th, a letter from the Superior Court of AZ arrived at the house. These were the little blows that would send the emotions into a tailspin. It took conscious effort to disable their momentum rapidly.
The court date that D thought was postponed, was in fact set to occur as planned on April 19th, 2011 at 1:30 p.m. The allotted time..."15 minutes due to the high volume of these matters. If the parties anticipate that the disputed issues cannot be resolved within the time allotted for the hearing (15 minutes), a Request for Additional time can be submitted to the Court in writing. If the Court grants the Request for Additional time, an evidentiary hearing will be set for a future date. Given the volume of cases on the Court's calendar and depending upon length of time requested, the evidentiary hearing date will typically be set two months out from the date of the Court's ruling concerning the request for additional time."
Interpret the above noted paragraph as you choose. For me, it reinforced my sentiments about the culpability of the courts when it relates to family/children. It could be months before a parent would see their child/ren.
The letter went on to explain..."Each party is hereby advised that in the event that he/she fails to appear, the Court will proceed in his/her absence and make a decision based on the testimony and information presented, which may include entering a default judgment and/or issuing a Child Support Arrest Warrant."
We knew that the information presented would be Sharon's and we knew that the probability of it not being fully truthful was very high.
D was in Canada. There were 2 business days to take care of this matter.
On Friday the 15th, D took care of it and was granted a telephonic appearance!!
More flow in the direction of change.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families.
The court date that D thought was postponed, was in fact set to occur as planned on April 19th, 2011 at 1:30 p.m. The allotted time..."15 minutes due to the high volume of these matters. If the parties anticipate that the disputed issues cannot be resolved within the time allotted for the hearing (15 minutes), a Request for Additional time can be submitted to the Court in writing. If the Court grants the Request for Additional time, an evidentiary hearing will be set for a future date. Given the volume of cases on the Court's calendar and depending upon length of time requested, the evidentiary hearing date will typically be set two months out from the date of the Court's ruling concerning the request for additional time."
Interpret the above noted paragraph as you choose. For me, it reinforced my sentiments about the culpability of the courts when it relates to family/children. It could be months before a parent would see their child/ren.
The letter went on to explain..."Each party is hereby advised that in the event that he/she fails to appear, the Court will proceed in his/her absence and make a decision based on the testimony and information presented, which may include entering a default judgment and/or issuing a Child Support Arrest Warrant."
We knew that the information presented would be Sharon's and we knew that the probability of it not being fully truthful was very high.
D was in Canada. There were 2 business days to take care of this matter.
On Friday the 15th, D took care of it and was granted a telephonic appearance!!
More flow in the direction of change.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families.
Keeping It Together
Three weeks in and I started feeling pretty alone. I had a few rough days. D and I talked at length on the phone. I went through the gamut of emotions.
We had wonderful friends who would have been there in a flash if I had needed them. I tapped into them a few times. They were fantastic. All, very supportive and positive.
Nonetheless, the man I shared my life with was not here. We spent so much time together. We loved being in each other's company. Doing nothing with D was awesome.
Stephan and Kyle were checking in on me during the first few weeks. I appreciated their concern.
Time was not standing still. It was the unsettled feeling of not having any timelines. It all felt so obscure. That was the difficult part.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families.
We had wonderful friends who would have been there in a flash if I had needed them. I tapped into them a few times. They were fantastic. All, very supportive and positive.
Nonetheless, the man I shared my life with was not here. We spent so much time together. We loved being in each other's company. Doing nothing with D was awesome.
Stephan and Kyle were checking in on me during the first few weeks. I appreciated their concern.
Time was not standing still. It was the unsettled feeling of not having any timelines. It all felt so obscure. That was the difficult part.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families.
An Unexpected Call
Several days after D had been gone, the phone rang. A man was asking for D by his first and last name. His identity was suspect. I quickly said that there was no DM here. The fellow again said, "So there is no DM at this number?" He was very professional and sounded a little surprised in his tone.
That is when I decided to ask, "Who is calling?"
The voice said, "Mel Feit. D emailed me a while back and left this number to call him. He said he was doing a documentary and wanted to talk with me."
I could not believe my ears. Mel Feit was calling our house. We had seen him advocate for divorced parents on television and had seen him on interviews about PAS. He is the Executive Director of the National Center for Men. Most of his clients happened to be male but he had advocated for women as well.
Mel and I spoke for a few minutes and I took down his number. I told him that D would get back to him as he was in Canada.
D had contacted Mel by email a while back. Wow! I was so proud of him at that moment. To have Mel Feit involved at some level in the documentary would be fantastic.
I called D immediately with the information. We were both very pleased at how it was all unfolding.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families.
That is when I decided to ask, "Who is calling?"
The voice said, "Mel Feit. D emailed me a while back and left this number to call him. He said he was doing a documentary and wanted to talk with me."
I could not believe my ears. Mel Feit was calling our house. We had seen him advocate for divorced parents on television and had seen him on interviews about PAS. He is the Executive Director of the National Center for Men. Most of his clients happened to be male but he had advocated for women as well.
Mel and I spoke for a few minutes and I took down his number. I told him that D would get back to him as he was in Canada.
D had contacted Mel by email a while back. Wow! I was so proud of him at that moment. To have Mel Feit involved at some level in the documentary would be fantastic.
I called D immediately with the information. We were both very pleased at how it was all unfolding.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families.
Everything Exactly As It Should Be
We were excited about the process and what would come of the movement forward. We were both coming from a well intended place. Straight from the heart. No anger, no angst and no fear. Allow me to be very clear...we were coming from there not that we would never experience these emotions. The outcome would unquestionably be positive in every way. Of this, I was 100% confident.
Sure we experienced frustrations here and there on the course but we would work those through and stay focused on the intention. D and I could not pin point what was ahead but it also did not matter as we were ready to move past whatever came our way.
Certain friends and family would question, "What if" this and "what if" that. So many times I wanted to simply say, "What if?" Doubts exist in human minds and are allowed to consume the thoughts. We were striving to release them as quickly as they entered our conscious thinking.
I could not explain fully how and where we were within our beings about this journey. I just knew to the core of my being that the outcome would be "good".
I had a fabulous job that I described as being better than self employment. I had autonomy, flexibility, support, fulfillment and loved what I was doing. I also did not have to chase the income. I was paid every 2 weeks. Imagine that!
This left us both knowing that the "home front" here in AZ would be just fine.
The timing was impeccable.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families.
Sure we experienced frustrations here and there on the course but we would work those through and stay focused on the intention. D and I could not pin point what was ahead but it also did not matter as we were ready to move past whatever came our way.
Certain friends and family would question, "What if" this and "what if" that. So many times I wanted to simply say, "What if?" Doubts exist in human minds and are allowed to consume the thoughts. We were striving to release them as quickly as they entered our conscious thinking.
I could not explain fully how and where we were within our beings about this journey. I just knew to the core of my being that the outcome would be "good".
I had a fabulous job that I described as being better than self employment. I had autonomy, flexibility, support, fulfillment and loved what I was doing. I also did not have to chase the income. I was paid every 2 weeks. Imagine that!
This left us both knowing that the "home front" here in AZ would be just fine.
The timing was impeccable.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families.
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