I had spent Mother's Day weekend attempting to locate all of our tax returns from 2001 through 2009. Our 2010 taxes were not yet completed. They would not be until October most likely. This was typical.
I managed to find all returns except 2006 and 2007. I kept looking for those as well as a few other documents that D needed. Between all of my client papers and business papers, I had boxes and boxes of files to go through. This would take several days.
By May 11th I had only the 2007 tax return to locate. I was feeling pretty good and knew we could get a copy of that return from our CPA so I started going through the paperwork year by year. My heart sank when I got to the end of the first return which was 2009. There was one specific document of importance to me and the figures were not accurate. I will not disclose the exact deatails at this time in order to protect the case as it unfolds. I will reveal all of the information at a later date.What a major road block. I was burning daylight and all I could focus on was getting those documents to D on time to file for the May 24th court date.
I leafed through the other returns and the error was on every document of every year. Why did not matter. What to do now did!
Think, think, think B!
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Saturday, May 21, 2011
Friday, May 20, 2011
Happy Mother's Day!
Later in the morning of May 7th I was engaged in many tasks. Kyle did come home at about 0830. He called me out to the back yard appearing very worried. I was not sure what to expect due to the exciting morning I'd already had. What could be out back?
It was a dozen red roses and the most beautiful card. Kyle said, "Happy Mother's Day Mom." It was such a warm moment and I soaked it up. It was the perfect timing. I gave him such a big hug. I actually turned on my AC unit in order to keep the roses from wilting as it was about 83 degrees in the house.
The following day was Mother's Day. I had a great Sunday but the BEST thing of all was taking my boys out for coffee. I wanted to spend an hour or two just "shootin the shit" with them. Amber joined us as well. She is Stephan's girlfriend. I was glad to be with all of them.
We did exactly that. We laughed and we talked about our trip to Canada. All of us were looking forward to it...to having the whole clan together again. I expressed to both boys that they had each enriched my life enormously by being who they were. They had taught me so much. I appreciated their individuality and their fervor. I wanted them to know that I supported them in their growth. They did not belong to me. I brought them into the world as two beautiful beings. I viewed them as such. It was so important to me that they know I did not have any expectations of them. I only desired that they be true to who they were and follow their paths as they chose. I love them so much.
We were there about two hours at the Solo Cafe in Tempe, AZ. It was sunny, breezy and we sat outside in the shade. It was all so perfect!
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It was a dozen red roses and the most beautiful card. Kyle said, "Happy Mother's Day Mom." It was such a warm moment and I soaked it up. It was the perfect timing. I gave him such a big hug. I actually turned on my AC unit in order to keep the roses from wilting as it was about 83 degrees in the house.
The following day was Mother's Day. I had a great Sunday but the BEST thing of all was taking my boys out for coffee. I wanted to spend an hour or two just "shootin the shit" with them. Amber joined us as well. She is Stephan's girlfriend. I was glad to be with all of them.
We did exactly that. We laughed and we talked about our trip to Canada. All of us were looking forward to it...to having the whole clan together again. I expressed to both boys that they had each enriched my life enormously by being who they were. They had taught me so much. I appreciated their individuality and their fervor. I wanted them to know that I supported them in their growth. They did not belong to me. I brought them into the world as two beautiful beings. I viewed them as such. It was so important to me that they know I did not have any expectations of them. I only desired that they be true to who they were and follow their paths as they chose. I love them so much.
We were there about two hours at the Solo Cafe in Tempe, AZ. It was sunny, breezy and we sat outside in the shade. It was all so perfect!
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Communication Breakdown
I believe that the search of my home happened due to a breakdown in communication between departments within the Court System. The Arrest Warrant was most likely generated electronically once inputted into the system. I am assuming it was then sent to the appropriate department that would be responsible for the arrest.
Although the Court was informed that D was in Canada and they allowed him to appear telephonically, it would seem that their findings would not transfer or be forwarded to that division following the April 19th hearing.
The arresting officers appeared puzzled and asked numerous questions of me about D's case. They were doing their job and I realized that.
This little adventure, I would later discover would be the first of more perplexing occurrences.
"Effective communication is like exercise. We all know how to do it. We all know that we should do it. Yet it's often neglected."
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Although the Court was informed that D was in Canada and they allowed him to appear telephonically, it would seem that their findings would not transfer or be forwarded to that division following the April 19th hearing.
The arresting officers appeared puzzled and asked numerous questions of me about D's case. They were doing their job and I realized that.
This little adventure, I would later discover would be the first of more perplexing occurrences.
"Effective communication is like exercise. We all know how to do it. We all know that we should do it. Yet it's often neglected."
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Sheriff Joe's Boys Come Knocking!
On May 7th, 2011 the door bell rang at my home at 0510. The sun was barely rising so it was still fairly dark out. I thought it was Kyle as he had gone out with a buddy and I knew he'd be out late. I thought he had forgotten his key. I was groggy as I had not slept well through the night. I was walking to the front door going down the hallway and I called out, "Kyle?" His bedroom window was open and it was adjacent to the front door. He would have heard me and responded but there was silence.
I turned the porch light on and looked through our beveled glass window in the front door. The figure of who was at the door was ambiguous. It could have been Kyle and frankly I just assumed it was. I looked more closely and saw 2 figures and thought he had a friend with him.
I opened the door and was slightly stunned by the two men who stood there. They immediately stated they were from the Maricopa County Sheriff's Department and that they wanted to speak to DM. I saw the shorter officer pull his badge out and let it hang on his chest. The 2nd officer followed suit.
I told them that he was not here. They repeated exactly what I just stated, "He's not here?" Again I told them that he was not here and that he was in Canada. I informed them that the courts here knew that because D had appeared telephonically for a hearing on April 19th. They proceeded to tell me that they had an arrest warrant for D. I concurred. They stated that they would need to come in to take a look. I responded, "You can't come into my house." They stated that they had a warrant for DM's arrest and that they needed to search the house. I asked, "So you can just come into my house?" They replied, "Yes we can. We have a warrant for Mr. M's arrest. They asked me if they could come in and my thoughts were racing. I had a second or two to answer.
Why engage in a scene when I knew that there was an arrest warrant out for him and that he was not here anyway. I had nothing to hide. No points needed to be proven to anyone including myself. I thought I'd just get this over with so that they could satisfy their search. I told them that they could come in and look.
Flashlights and all...from room to room as the two of them split up. I stayed with one of them and turned on lights in each room. I pointed to my bed. I said, "As you can see he has not been here. My bed has been like this for over a month now." D's side stayed perfectly made up every night. Once the officer saw the bed I felt as though he was satisfied and believed me that D was not here. He apologized and let me know that they were just doing their job. I let him know that I understood that. We stopped and spoke for a bit in the kitchen.
They did not continue to look in the garage or the laundry room. They were confused. They asked me several questions. Often the same question in a different format. I ended up explaining to them the reciprocity that existed with family court orders between Canada and the USA. I expounded that all of this was initiated in Canada and that the courts here were honoring what orders were being enforced from there. It was that simple. That was the reason that D was in Canada and not here. He was there to try to change the orders. They were very attentive when I was speaking. I concluded that they were hearing something completely brand new for the very first time ever! They vocalized that they did not know that this was even possible. They cautioned me to be sure that when the changes were made in Canada that I file these changes with the courts here in AZ. This would prevent D from being arrested as he deplaned or entered the country. Now they were trying to help and I recognized this. They expressed that they would write all of this information in their report so as not to have this occur again.
As they were leaving they turned back and one of them said, "Sounds like a mess." I added, "Yes it is a mess and D hasn't seen his kids in 11 years. That's why he's there taking care of this."
They left and apologized again. I wished them a good day.
Their car drove off after they walked to it parked several houses down the street.
It all seemd so surreal. I walked around the house for a few minutes absorbing what had just transpired.
I texted D that Sheriff Joe's boys had just searched our house. I think D's response text was the quickest one I'd ever received! Texting was not his forte AND D was very well aware of Sheriff Joe's Posse!
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I turned the porch light on and looked through our beveled glass window in the front door. The figure of who was at the door was ambiguous. It could have been Kyle and frankly I just assumed it was. I looked more closely and saw 2 figures and thought he had a friend with him.
I opened the door and was slightly stunned by the two men who stood there. They immediately stated they were from the Maricopa County Sheriff's Department and that they wanted to speak to DM. I saw the shorter officer pull his badge out and let it hang on his chest. The 2nd officer followed suit.
I told them that he was not here. They repeated exactly what I just stated, "He's not here?" Again I told them that he was not here and that he was in Canada. I informed them that the courts here knew that because D had appeared telephonically for a hearing on April 19th. They proceeded to tell me that they had an arrest warrant for D. I concurred. They stated that they would need to come in to take a look. I responded, "You can't come into my house." They stated that they had a warrant for DM's arrest and that they needed to search the house. I asked, "So you can just come into my house?" They replied, "Yes we can. We have a warrant for Mr. M's arrest. They asked me if they could come in and my thoughts were racing. I had a second or two to answer.
Why engage in a scene when I knew that there was an arrest warrant out for him and that he was not here anyway. I had nothing to hide. No points needed to be proven to anyone including myself. I thought I'd just get this over with so that they could satisfy their search. I told them that they could come in and look.
Flashlights and all...from room to room as the two of them split up. I stayed with one of them and turned on lights in each room. I pointed to my bed. I said, "As you can see he has not been here. My bed has been like this for over a month now." D's side stayed perfectly made up every night. Once the officer saw the bed I felt as though he was satisfied and believed me that D was not here. He apologized and let me know that they were just doing their job. I let him know that I understood that. We stopped and spoke for a bit in the kitchen.
They did not continue to look in the garage or the laundry room. They were confused. They asked me several questions. Often the same question in a different format. I ended up explaining to them the reciprocity that existed with family court orders between Canada and the USA. I expounded that all of this was initiated in Canada and that the courts here were honoring what orders were being enforced from there. It was that simple. That was the reason that D was in Canada and not here. He was there to try to change the orders. They were very attentive when I was speaking. I concluded that they were hearing something completely brand new for the very first time ever! They vocalized that they did not know that this was even possible. They cautioned me to be sure that when the changes were made in Canada that I file these changes with the courts here in AZ. This would prevent D from being arrested as he deplaned or entered the country. Now they were trying to help and I recognized this. They expressed that they would write all of this information in their report so as not to have this occur again.
As they were leaving they turned back and one of them said, "Sounds like a mess." I added, "Yes it is a mess and D hasn't seen his kids in 11 years. That's why he's there taking care of this."
They left and apologized again. I wished them a good day.
Their car drove off after they walked to it parked several houses down the street.
It all seemd so surreal. I walked around the house for a few minutes absorbing what had just transpired.
I texted D that Sheriff Joe's boys had just searched our house. I think D's response text was the quickest one I'd ever received! Texting was not his forte AND D was very well aware of Sheriff Joe's Posse!
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Thursday, May 19, 2011
Gathering Of The Documents...Ugh!
There was no getting away from this mountain of paperwork ahead of me. D needed the docs and I needed to get them to him ASAP. He needed them the week of May 17th, 2011. The docs needed to be filed with the Court prior to his May 24th court date. First things first...the documents from the IRS.
I called several numbers at DES and Child Support Services here in AZ to find out what they would require of a parent from the IRS for proof of income. The answer was nothing but the last 2 years tax returns or pay stubs.
I called our IRS to find out about this "notice of assessment" that was requested from the Court in Canada. It was a letter of sorts that would state something such as the taxes had been done for the past 10 years and that they had been filed accurately. After numerous calls to different IRS departments, I came to find out that no such letter would ever exist as the IRS had no Statute of Limitations on Tax Fraud per the Publication 17 Tax Guide 2010. OK!
The fellow I was speaking to in the Advanced Accounts Department with the IRS was so congenial. He informed me that one could request a 4506T Form in order to have the financial status of one's returns retrieved from the database (called an account transcript). Great! I asked if I could download it from the IRS site and he said, "No." He went on to say that it could be requested by phone (the form) and it would be mailed out to my home. Once filled out and sent, I'd have to allow 30 days for the IRS to send me the transcripts. I was shaking my head as he spoke. This would NOT be ok. I certainly wasn't shocked by this news. After all, this was the government I was dealing with. This guy must have sensed my desperation when I said, "Oh my. I really don't have that kind of time. Yes, please send me the form." What happened next was "the flow" moving in the right direction. It was actually incredible! I was so grateful.
This wonderful man I was speaking with said, "Well let me see if I can pull it up while we're on the phone. Do you have a few minutes...because I will have to put you on hold while the transcripts upload. I can't guarantee you anything but let's give it a try. I will put in the request and we'll see what happens ok? This is all done electronically."
Hell yes I had a few minutes. I could not believe my ears. This was a great human being I happened upon that day. He came back on the line once or twice as the transcripts were uploading to check in and at the end he confirmed that all 9 years had uploaded successfully and would be sent out immediately. I should get them in 7-10 days. I expressed my gratitude to him and bid him a fantastic day.
I am shaking my head in disbelief as I write now. I will not question why this happened. I was and am so thankful!
Tackling our tax returns would be next. It was already the end of the week since Tuesday's Court date. Time was flying!
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I called several numbers at DES and Child Support Services here in AZ to find out what they would require of a parent from the IRS for proof of income. The answer was nothing but the last 2 years tax returns or pay stubs.
I called our IRS to find out about this "notice of assessment" that was requested from the Court in Canada. It was a letter of sorts that would state something such as the taxes had been done for the past 10 years and that they had been filed accurately. After numerous calls to different IRS departments, I came to find out that no such letter would ever exist as the IRS had no Statute of Limitations on Tax Fraud per the Publication 17 Tax Guide 2010. OK!
The fellow I was speaking to in the Advanced Accounts Department with the IRS was so congenial. He informed me that one could request a 4506T Form in order to have the financial status of one's returns retrieved from the database (called an account transcript). Great! I asked if I could download it from the IRS site and he said, "No." He went on to say that it could be requested by phone (the form) and it would be mailed out to my home. Once filled out and sent, I'd have to allow 30 days for the IRS to send me the transcripts. I was shaking my head as he spoke. This would NOT be ok. I certainly wasn't shocked by this news. After all, this was the government I was dealing with. This guy must have sensed my desperation when I said, "Oh my. I really don't have that kind of time. Yes, please send me the form." What happened next was "the flow" moving in the right direction. It was actually incredible! I was so grateful.
This wonderful man I was speaking with said, "Well let me see if I can pull it up while we're on the phone. Do you have a few minutes...because I will have to put you on hold while the transcripts upload. I can't guarantee you anything but let's give it a try. I will put in the request and we'll see what happens ok? This is all done electronically."
Hell yes I had a few minutes. I could not believe my ears. This was a great human being I happened upon that day. He came back on the line once or twice as the transcripts were uploading to check in and at the end he confirmed that all 9 years had uploaded successfully and would be sent out immediately. I should get them in 7-10 days. I expressed my gratitude to him and bid him a fantastic day.
I am shaking my head in disbelief as I write now. I will not question why this happened. I was and am so thankful!
Tackling our tax returns would be next. It was already the end of the week since Tuesday's Court date. Time was flying!
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
A Flash Of A Jail Term
D's take on the day was pretty healthy. We spoke as soon as we could. He'd spent about 4 hours in jail. He felt calm and strong. He laid on the cell bench and thought for quite a while. It had been a long day.
His initial meeting of Sharon's attourney ("Atty") was brief but interesting. D felt his behaviour to be less than professional. D had been around many attourneys in family court. The following is transcribed as I understood it. D may correct it when he reads this Blog entry.
#1...D approached the clerk/motions co-ordinator desk to let them know that he was there for his motion hearing (where they would most likely send them in to have a case conference). Atty stepped up as well and requested today's motion be adjourned (stall tactic most likely). D asserted that he was not in agreement and wanted to be seen by a Standby Judge today and dispense (do away with) the Case Conference altogether.
(A case conference is the informal meeting between the parties, their lawyers (if they are represented) and a judge). Nothing would be accomplished at a case conference and more time would be wasted. They were sent to the next desk.
#2...D and Atty were at the next clerk/motions co-ordinator desk to state that the parties were here and D asked to go before a Standby Judge. D had been informed earlier that he would be handcuffed after speaking to the clerk. The clerk asked that D's court files be picked up from the back counter on the main floor. D stated he'd be glad to get them but that he would be in handcuffs within a few minutes. The clerk then turned to Atty and he refused. He stated, "You're the moving party (D) so you go get them." The clerk actually commented to Atty, "Are you serious? You are not going to pick up the file? Is that what you are saying?" This went back and forth a few times before Atty finally accepted the file requisition form from the clerk in order to go retrieve the files. He would never look D in the eye from the moment their paths crossed.
#3...D was walking away from the clerk desk and knew he'd be handcuffed. He asked Steve to take some pictures of it. He was also shackled. I am not certain he was expecting that. Steve did get one great photo. There was some protest and inquisition (from Sheriffs) about whether he was taking pictures or not. Steve fired back a rebuttal or two and then let it go as he had gotten the photograph. I was so proud that he had the courage to stand up and as a sovereign being at that moment! D walked into the courtroom to face the judge. Sheriffs on either side of him.
#4...During the hearing D had to correct Atty a few times as his information was not accurate. D noticed Atty looking back at Sharon during one of these "redirections of information" with a puzzled look on his face...almost as if to let her know that he was not pleased at having been misinformed.
#5...D felt that he had represented himself well, he was asked to get specific documents together (sworn financials, tax returns letter from the IRS etc.), he had to promise to appear at a later date, the judge expressed that he was not going to be reading through the file today and advised D to get an attourney.
#6...D was taken to jail where he chatted with the officers about sports and other topics. He stated they were very pleasant. Approximately 4 hours later he was released!
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His initial meeting of Sharon's attourney ("Atty") was brief but interesting. D felt his behaviour to be less than professional. D had been around many attourneys in family court. The following is transcribed as I understood it. D may correct it when he reads this Blog entry.
#1...D approached the clerk/motions co-ordinator desk to let them know that he was there for his motion hearing (where they would most likely send them in to have a case conference). Atty stepped up as well and requested today's motion be adjourned (stall tactic most likely). D asserted that he was not in agreement and wanted to be seen by a Standby Judge today and dispense (do away with) the Case Conference altogether.
(A case conference is the informal meeting between the parties, their lawyers (if they are represented) and a judge). Nothing would be accomplished at a case conference and more time would be wasted. They were sent to the next desk.
#2...D and Atty were at the next clerk/motions co-ordinator desk to state that the parties were here and D asked to go before a Standby Judge. D had been informed earlier that he would be handcuffed after speaking to the clerk. The clerk asked that D's court files be picked up from the back counter on the main floor. D stated he'd be glad to get them but that he would be in handcuffs within a few minutes. The clerk then turned to Atty and he refused. He stated, "You're the moving party (D) so you go get them." The clerk actually commented to Atty, "Are you serious? You are not going to pick up the file? Is that what you are saying?" This went back and forth a few times before Atty finally accepted the file requisition form from the clerk in order to go retrieve the files. He would never look D in the eye from the moment their paths crossed.
#3...D was walking away from the clerk desk and knew he'd be handcuffed. He asked Steve to take some pictures of it. He was also shackled. I am not certain he was expecting that. Steve did get one great photo. There was some protest and inquisition (from Sheriffs) about whether he was taking pictures or not. Steve fired back a rebuttal or two and then let it go as he had gotten the photograph. I was so proud that he had the courage to stand up and as a sovereign being at that moment! D walked into the courtroom to face the judge. Sheriffs on either side of him.
#4...During the hearing D had to correct Atty a few times as his information was not accurate. D noticed Atty looking back at Sharon during one of these "redirections of information" with a puzzled look on his face...almost as if to let her know that he was not pleased at having been misinformed.
#5...D felt that he had represented himself well, he was asked to get specific documents together (sworn financials, tax returns letter from the IRS etc.), he had to promise to appear at a later date, the judge expressed that he was not going to be reading through the file today and advised D to get an attourney.
#6...D was taken to jail where he chatted with the officers about sports and other topics. He stated they were very pleasant. Approximately 4 hours later he was released!
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Monday, May 16, 2011
Krista's Expertise
By mid afternoon Krista had called me to let me know that D would be released later that day. Unbelievable! I didn't know all of the details that led up to this decision but I was so grateful to her. Kudos!
She filled me in on all of the particulars of the 10 mins court hearing earlier that morning. D had done a very good job of representing himself. She was very proud of him. She stated he was a little choked up when he spoke of his children but that he paused and continued without difficulty.
We spoke about several things and I enjoyed connecting with her. We discussed what the courts were asking for. I would need to gather up all of our tax returns from the past 10 years and get some type of "notice of assessment" from the IRS. No problem. Whatever they needed I would get. Krista and D would work on what they needed on their end.
Krista had some concerns about our tax returns having been filed jointly. I reassured her that she needed to not worry because D owned nothing, had no bank accounts, had no investments, had never borrowed any money nor did he ever have a credit card. Nothing was in his name. He was never able to acquire anything requiring financing as he had no credit due to the lien placed on it years ago. There was nothing to hide. His assets were $0.00.
Krista stated, "You're lying, he does own a utility trailer worth $100.00." We laughed because this was in fact the only material item that D owned. I had forgotten that crucial tidbit of information.
Laughter is good medicine. It is natural.
Naturally she was concerned about her brother. They loved each other quite a bit. D called her "kiddo" for years. He had always felt very protective of her as his "little" sister. I reassured her that D was in a great place. He was the strongest he had ever been and that no matter what would happen, he would be just fine. He was ready.
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She filled me in on all of the particulars of the 10 mins court hearing earlier that morning. D had done a very good job of representing himself. She was very proud of him. She stated he was a little choked up when he spoke of his children but that he paused and continued without difficulty.
We spoke about several things and I enjoyed connecting with her. We discussed what the courts were asking for. I would need to gather up all of our tax returns from the past 10 years and get some type of "notice of assessment" from the IRS. No problem. Whatever they needed I would get. Krista and D would work on what they needed on their end.
Krista had some concerns about our tax returns having been filed jointly. I reassured her that she needed to not worry because D owned nothing, had no bank accounts, had no investments, had never borrowed any money nor did he ever have a credit card. Nothing was in his name. He was never able to acquire anything requiring financing as he had no credit due to the lien placed on it years ago. There was nothing to hide. His assets were $0.00.
Krista stated, "You're lying, he does own a utility trailer worth $100.00." We laughed because this was in fact the only material item that D owned. I had forgotten that crucial tidbit of information.
Laughter is good medicine. It is natural.
Naturally she was concerned about her brother. They loved each other quite a bit. D called her "kiddo" for years. He had always felt very protective of her as his "little" sister. I reassured her that D was in a great place. He was the strongest he had ever been and that no matter what would happen, he would be just fine. He was ready.
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Sending Love To Sharon
I thought about Sharon pointing D out to the Sheriffs. I actually felt a great sense of sadness for her. What was she afraid of? Only she knew. I pondered this for a while and realized that she was most likely exactly in the same place as 10 years prior. No personal growth seemed to have occurred. I had felt this was the case because of the goings on over the past 9 months but this made it very real for me. So many thoughts were in my head. How would her game plan solve anything? Without coming together in a peaceful way, what could be accomplished?
I sent her good thoughts and alot of love. I remember thinking I would send her triple, quadruple the love that I normally sent out her way. I had no anger toward her at all. Anger had never been an emotion triggered when I'd thought of Sharon.
I thought of their children A and R. What could their lives have been like? What had been told to them? I sent them alot of love as well.
There was always hope. An open door existed for anyone who chose to walk through it.
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I sent her good thoughts and alot of love. I remember thinking I would send her triple, quadruple the love that I normally sent out her way. I had no anger toward her at all. Anger had never been an emotion triggered when I'd thought of Sharon.
I thought of their children A and R. What could their lives have been like? What had been told to them? I sent them alot of love as well.
There was always hope. An open door existed for anyone who chose to walk through it.
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Motion Court Day...Jail?
Well Tuesday, May 3rd 2011 had arrived. Motion Court 0900 Winnipeg time.
I had solicited support once again from our friends out here. I was so grateful for all of them. Their well wishes meant so much to us both.
D and I had a plan that if he was taken to jail, his brother would let me know what happened and all of D's belongings would be in Steve's possession.
It was going on nearly 2 hours and I had heard nothing. My heart was beating a little faster and my mind started wandering. Then my home phone rang. The caller ID read Steve's phone number. I answered...nothing at the other end. I called the number back...dead. I tried several times, the phone rang several times, but everytime...nothing.
I decided to try my cell phone and called Steve's phone. It went straight to voicemail a few times. That was a long few minutes.
Finally we connected. Steve stated that once near the courtroom, Sharon pointed to D and was overheard by Steve saying something to the effect of, "That's him. You need to arrest him. He has a warrant." D was handcuffed and shackled and faced the judge this way.
D instructed Steve to get some pictures and he did so. He was told by the Sheriff that he could not take photos. Steve was successful at getting at least one pretty good one. I was so proud that he had the courage to do this. He also was taking some written notes for D. His entire family was there for him.
Steve shared a few details of what had happened but he was still at the courthouse and the reception was poor so we only spoke a few minutes.
My heart sank once I was alone with my thoughts and feelings. I was expecting this but there was no way I could have been fully prepared. I stayed strong and focused on the quest in front of us.
I informed all of our friends and the boys. This was a leap forward and I felt it.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
I had solicited support once again from our friends out here. I was so grateful for all of them. Their well wishes meant so much to us both.
D and I had a plan that if he was taken to jail, his brother would let me know what happened and all of D's belongings would be in Steve's possession.
It was going on nearly 2 hours and I had heard nothing. My heart was beating a little faster and my mind started wandering. Then my home phone rang. The caller ID read Steve's phone number. I answered...nothing at the other end. I called the number back...dead. I tried several times, the phone rang several times, but everytime...nothing.
I decided to try my cell phone and called Steve's phone. It went straight to voicemail a few times. That was a long few minutes.
Finally we connected. Steve stated that once near the courtroom, Sharon pointed to D and was overheard by Steve saying something to the effect of, "That's him. You need to arrest him. He has a warrant." D was handcuffed and shackled and faced the judge this way.
D instructed Steve to get some pictures and he did so. He was told by the Sheriff that he could not take photos. Steve was successful at getting at least one pretty good one. I was so proud that he had the courage to do this. He also was taking some written notes for D. His entire family was there for him.
Steve shared a few details of what had happened but he was still at the courthouse and the reception was poor so we only spoke a few minutes.
My heart sank once I was alone with my thoughts and feelings. I was expecting this but there was no way I could have been fully prepared. I stayed strong and focused on the quest in front of us.
I informed all of our friends and the boys. This was a leap forward and I felt it.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Another Letter From the Courts
On April 27th the document outlining the details of D's Enforcement Hearing from the 19th arrived by mail. I immediately felt my emotions start climbing from my gut up.
There were a few surprises on the document that I was not prepared for.
The court knew that D was in Canada working on this case. They however set his support payments to commence May 1st, 2010. The new totals would include a set arrears amount of $300. New total would be $1166.91/mo.
"IT IS FURTHER ORDERED that Father shall pay to Mother for child support of the minor child/ren of the parties..." Both children were adults. Where did that come from?
Once again, I communicated with D. These calls were not pleasant to say the least. They left me feeling drained and I knew they were difficult on him as well. It would be so easy to allow the emotions to take over. It took effort to keep them in check.
All docs were scanned and emailed so that he had everything should he need it at any time.
One valuable piece of information was that a CD of the proceedings could be ordered. Instantly I thought of the documentary. I would look into what needed to be done to get a copy.
That was the break in the clouds!
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
There were a few surprises on the document that I was not prepared for.
The court knew that D was in Canada working on this case. They however set his support payments to commence May 1st, 2010. The new totals would include a set arrears amount of $300. New total would be $1166.91/mo.
"IT IS FURTHER ORDERED that Father shall pay to Mother for child support of the minor child/ren of the parties..." Both children were adults. Where did that come from?
Once again, I communicated with D. These calls were not pleasant to say the least. They left me feeling drained and I knew they were difficult on him as well. It would be so easy to allow the emotions to take over. It took effort to keep them in check.
All docs were scanned and emailed so that he had everything should he need it at any time.
One valuable piece of information was that a CD of the proceedings could be ordered. Instantly I thought of the documentary. I would look into what needed to be done to get a copy.
That was the break in the clouds!
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
Chatting With D's Buddy!
The current events led me to go out and meet up with some friends. I met a couple at a little restaurant and we had Happy Hour on the patio. We had known this couple for quite a few years. Dave was D's good friend and golf buddy. They shared common traits. Dave was a great guy and D loved his positive attitude. Dave and D kept in touch via text since his departure. D had conveyed to me that Dave's little jokes and funny texts kept him going and he really was grateful for those. I'd shared this with his good friend.
Mari and Dave were filled in on the latest news of the day. It was great to be able to chat with someone and get a different perspective.
Dave commented on how he thought D should remain free as long as he could. Why turn yourself in when you don't even know if there is a warrant out. It wasn't as though D was knowingly running from a warrant. D would be in a courthouse soon enough with the possibility if being jailed at that time. Why expedite it? This solidified D's thoughts and he would wait until May 3rd, the day he would go to motion court.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families.
Mari and Dave were filled in on the latest news of the day. It was great to be able to chat with someone and get a different perspective.
Dave commented on how he thought D should remain free as long as he could. Why turn yourself in when you don't even know if there is a warrant out. It wasn't as though D was knowingly running from a warrant. D would be in a courthouse soon enough with the possibility if being jailed at that time. Why expedite it? This solidified D's thoughts and he would wait until May 3rd, the day he would go to motion court.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families.
Good Friday...Police Inquire About D
I believe that serving the papers to Sharon the prior evening, was the catalyst to the police being summoned to look for D on Good Friday morning.
D had been staying with family since he had arrived in Manitoba. He had been at his brother's, my brother's and his sister's among several visits at other locations across the city. On Thursday night the 21st, D opted to go spend some time with a cousin of his.
The police showed up at D's mom's on the morning of the 22nd. He had not stayed at her place. She could not help them and did not know where he had gone. The police would not tell her what it was regarding.
They were back an hour or so later inquiring again as they had noticed a truck pull up and thought it might have been D. Well it was not. Alice asked what it was that D had done. An officer responded something to the effect of, "It's not what he's done. It's what he hasn't done."
Shortly thereafter the police arrived at Krista's home looking for her brother. The response was similar. They did not know where D was and they could not assist the police in any way.
I recall my reaction being one of sarcasm. It was humourous to me for some reason. D and I were conversing by phone as he filled me in on the details.
I joked with D, "Big ****** manhunt in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. Most notorious Dead Beat Dad comes back to town. The search for him has begun."
I knew the case was no laughing matter. Certain actions and reactions to it were comical. The common sense element was not common. We could not make sense of much of it and it was a waste of energy trying. Our decisions about everything came from within us. Always going back to the core. This kept us very well grounded.
Remember that not one department could give us a concrete answer on whether D had an arrest warrant or not in Manitoba.
One day of freedom at a time.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families.
D had been staying with family since he had arrived in Manitoba. He had been at his brother's, my brother's and his sister's among several visits at other locations across the city. On Thursday night the 21st, D opted to go spend some time with a cousin of his.
The police showed up at D's mom's on the morning of the 22nd. He had not stayed at her place. She could not help them and did not know where he had gone. The police would not tell her what it was regarding.
They were back an hour or so later inquiring again as they had noticed a truck pull up and thought it might have been D. Well it was not. Alice asked what it was that D had done. An officer responded something to the effect of, "It's not what he's done. It's what he hasn't done."
Shortly thereafter the police arrived at Krista's home looking for her brother. The response was similar. They did not know where D was and they could not assist the police in any way.
I recall my reaction being one of sarcasm. It was humourous to me for some reason. D and I were conversing by phone as he filled me in on the details.
I joked with D, "Big ****** manhunt in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. Most notorious Dead Beat Dad comes back to town. The search for him has begun."
I knew the case was no laughing matter. Certain actions and reactions to it were comical. The common sense element was not common. We could not make sense of much of it and it was a waste of energy trying. Our decisions about everything came from within us. Always going back to the core. This kept us very well grounded.
Remember that not one department could give us a concrete answer on whether D had an arrest warrant or not in Manitoba.
One day of freedom at a time.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families.
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