July of 2011 went by and some healing was taking place. D was getting back into the groove and would take some action as needed to stay on task. It was such a difficult, emotional roller coaster that D was on. Not a single one of us in his entire circle could truly empathize. We could imagine and sympathize but unless we had walked in similar shoes...we would not possibly know exactly the feelings he experienced. Love and support...we all gave him that.
Here he was in the same city as his children and he could not even see them. There was an old order in place that he could not go near the marital home. He was almost 100% certain they both still lived at home. How could he ever reach out to them? How would they ever know the truth? Would they? Would he ever have any type of relationship with them? Did they hate him? Did they fear him? What were they told? He felt so helpless and hopeless at times. I so wanted to just be there to hug him so tight and to walk beside him through this.
I decided to come see him for a few days to encourage him and spend time with him as he was catching his second gust of wind. He was regaining strength for the next leg... keeping his children in the forefront of his mind. That was the driving force! Regardless of whether he would ever have a relationship with his children or not, D would press on to set the record straight once and for all.
Yet another Maintenance Enforcement hearing was scheduled at the beginning of August. I booked my trip to come just after the hearing. I seriously was not sure if I would be visiting him through bars or not, however slight the possibility.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Painful Realization
I came back from seeing D in May/June 2011. It was such a memorable time.
Both D and I had jumped into this with both feet. We would do whatever it took. We were both strong and focused. I felt it. I knew it.
By the end of June unpleasant feelings were starting to creep up and I did not appreciate them at the time. I had a sense that D was falling off course. It was not a good feeling. I could envision what would come. We would talk and I would ask him about his documentary, his case and other related topics. The responses were frustrating to say the least.
D was spending most of his time and energy doing anything and everything but working on his "project". He was filling in the time with "busy work" and giving less to what he was in Canada for.
It was hard to get in contact with him on a regular basis as he was moving around quite a bit. He did not always have cell phone reception for texting and land lines were not always available for talking. I felt the weave unraveling. The D that left here was not the same D by the beginning of July 2011. His strength was being enveloped by pain.
This did throw me a curve ball to say the least. It caused me quite a bit of heart ache. A feeling I had not experienced yet with D in our lives as partners. Oh I have had upset moments that lasted a few minutes or at worst a few hours. This was very different. This was days and weeks.
I was playing ping pong in my head with 2 things. One...the feelings of frustration and hurt as D was off track and losing focus and momentum...I wanted to get him back on track and help him and support him...Two...the gut wrenching feelings of knowing that this was not my journey...I was a passenger and he was the driver...I could not want this for him more than he wanted it for himself...letting him decide to get back on track on his own...wow!
I had never backed away from helping in some capacity. Now I was. I had to. I had to for him and for me. He needed to figure out what to do because I sure as hell could not drag him along. The most painful part is that I did not want to either. He had to dig very deeply and pull it out of himself if he was going to finish this. He would have to find his driving force. I believed in him. I told him that I was always here 100% and supported his quest. I also told him I would do no more initiating of any sort regarding his "project". I would do anything he asked and give it my all once he was all in! As painful as this was, I am glad I spoke my truth. Resentment would have no place this way.
This was the reasoning for my lack of BLOG entries. It was no longer coming from within me, my heart, nor my spirit. I could not force it. I knew it would come in due time if it was meant to.
Here I am and as you have probably noticed...so is D.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
Both D and I had jumped into this with both feet. We would do whatever it took. We were both strong and focused. I felt it. I knew it.
By the end of June unpleasant feelings were starting to creep up and I did not appreciate them at the time. I had a sense that D was falling off course. It was not a good feeling. I could envision what would come. We would talk and I would ask him about his documentary, his case and other related topics. The responses were frustrating to say the least.
D was spending most of his time and energy doing anything and everything but working on his "project". He was filling in the time with "busy work" and giving less to what he was in Canada for.
It was hard to get in contact with him on a regular basis as he was moving around quite a bit. He did not always have cell phone reception for texting and land lines were not always available for talking. I felt the weave unraveling. The D that left here was not the same D by the beginning of July 2011. His strength was being enveloped by pain.
This did throw me a curve ball to say the least. It caused me quite a bit of heart ache. A feeling I had not experienced yet with D in our lives as partners. Oh I have had upset moments that lasted a few minutes or at worst a few hours. This was very different. This was days and weeks.
I was playing ping pong in my head with 2 things. One...the feelings of frustration and hurt as D was off track and losing focus and momentum...I wanted to get him back on track and help him and support him...Two...the gut wrenching feelings of knowing that this was not my journey...I was a passenger and he was the driver...I could not want this for him more than he wanted it for himself...letting him decide to get back on track on his own...wow!
I had never backed away from helping in some capacity. Now I was. I had to. I had to for him and for me. He needed to figure out what to do because I sure as hell could not drag him along. The most painful part is that I did not want to either. He had to dig very deeply and pull it out of himself if he was going to finish this. He would have to find his driving force. I believed in him. I told him that I was always here 100% and supported his quest. I also told him I would do no more initiating of any sort regarding his "project". I would do anything he asked and give it my all once he was all in! As painful as this was, I am glad I spoke my truth. Resentment would have no place this way.
This was the reasoning for my lack of BLOG entries. It was no longer coming from within me, my heart, nor my spirit. I could not force it. I knew it would come in due time if it was meant to.
Here I am and as you have probably noticed...so is D.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
The Encounter With A!
Oct. 4th, 2011
Those were exciting and anxious minutes. Now I was faced with the worries of what to say in such a spontaneous moment as that. I knocked on the window and said hello A. I could see when I said hello, he knew who I was. I immediately got emotional but wasn’t going to let emotion stop this encounter. A only asked one question and made a couple of short statements. I did most of the talking. I felt like I only had a few precious moments to get across what I wanted to convey to him. At the end of those minutes which seemed like both hours and seconds. The miraculous moment ended with A putting out his hand to shake mine. I was drained from the highly emotional event and after holding it in I walked back to my car and just cried not sure if I was happy or sad. All I wanted to do is call my wife B and tell her of the news and share the moment with her because we are like one. The details will be between us and my most close family. My very first post on the Blog is the aftermath of which I assume is the result of my son A informing his mother that he saw and talked to me. Please infer your own meaning of why someone would be so outwardly aggressive in protecting a 21 year old boy who is 6' 1" and 200 plus pounds.
Remember D's posts are in GREEN. PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
Those were exciting and anxious minutes. Now I was faced with the worries of what to say in such a spontaneous moment as that. I knocked on the window and said hello A. I could see when I said hello, he knew who I was. I immediately got emotional but wasn’t going to let emotion stop this encounter. A only asked one question and made a couple of short statements. I did most of the talking. I felt like I only had a few precious moments to get across what I wanted to convey to him. At the end of those minutes which seemed like both hours and seconds. The miraculous moment ended with A putting out his hand to shake mine. I was drained from the highly emotional event and after holding it in I walked back to my car and just cried not sure if I was happy or sad. All I wanted to do is call my wife B and tell her of the news and share the moment with her because we are like one. The details will be between us and my most close family. My very first post on the Blog is the aftermath of which I assume is the result of my son A informing his mother that he saw and talked to me. Please infer your own meaning of why someone would be so outwardly aggressive in protecting a 21 year old boy who is 6' 1" and 200 plus pounds.
Remember D's posts are in GREEN. PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
Friday, October 21, 2011
A Day To Remember...Locating My Son A
Oct. 4th, 2011
I was driving over to my cousin’s place in hopes of seeing my son A. He lives a couple of streets past my cousin’s home. I almost didn’t believe my eyes, he drove right by me. I was so shocked I almost didn’t know what to do. I wheeled my vehicle around and followed him still not 100% sure it was him. At the first red light I was close enough to tell that it was in fact my Son A. We kept driving down the road. As we did, I was thinking of what the heck I would say to him or what worried me worse was what he might say to me. I missed a light at a mall and he drove on ahead of me. I was almost ready to drive through the red light, but I didn’t. I sped up to try and catch up to him. I checked the first lot in the back of the mall and then the second. My heart sank I thought I had missed my one chance in seven months in Winnipeg to make contact with the son I had not seen in over twelve years. I was originally in that area to get more minutes on my Manitoba cell phone. I decided that I must have lost my chance and would just get my business taken care of. To my surprise there was A’s car in the lot. I pulled into the nearest available spot and parked. I rushed to the mall entrance to see if I could see him. When I walked by his car I noticed that he was still in the car. I was a little afraid to look over at him for too long. I went into the mall and got my minutes, which I did faster than ever before. I watched the mall doors to see if he was coming in. He wasn't. I was done my business and walked out thinking he drove off. He was still there and I paused momentarily and said to myself I may never get this opportunity again so off I went.
Remember D's posts are in GREEN. PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience. .
I was driving over to my cousin’s place in hopes of seeing my son A. He lives a couple of streets past my cousin’s home. I almost didn’t believe my eyes, he drove right by me. I was so shocked I almost didn’t know what to do. I wheeled my vehicle around and followed him still not 100% sure it was him. At the first red light I was close enough to tell that it was in fact my Son A. We kept driving down the road. As we did, I was thinking of what the heck I would say to him or what worried me worse was what he might say to me. I missed a light at a mall and he drove on ahead of me. I was almost ready to drive through the red light, but I didn’t. I sped up to try and catch up to him. I checked the first lot in the back of the mall and then the second. My heart sank I thought I had missed my one chance in seven months in Winnipeg to make contact with the son I had not seen in over twelve years. I was originally in that area to get more minutes on my Manitoba cell phone. I decided that I must have lost my chance and would just get my business taken care of. To my surprise there was A’s car in the lot. I pulled into the nearest available spot and parked. I rushed to the mall entrance to see if I could see him. When I walked by his car I noticed that he was still in the car. I was a little afraid to look over at him for too long. I went into the mall and got my minutes, which I did faster than ever before. I watched the mall doors to see if he was coming in. He wasn't. I was done my business and walked out thinking he drove off. He was still there and I paused momentarily and said to myself I may never get this opportunity again so off I went.
Remember D's posts are in GREEN. PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience. .
Business As Usual...More Manipulation
Oct. 18, 2011
I was checking the Court of Queen’s Bench registry (site for finding stored cases of the court) to see if there were any new developments in my divorce case. I was expecting to see no change. To my great surprise I found that my Ex wife, Sharon put an application in for a protective order in front of the court. I was equally surprised to find out that it was dismissed.
Ten to fifteen years ago the courts would hand these out like candy at a candy store. No need of proof of any wrong doing. You just had to say you feared someone or you feared for your children’s safety and you were granted an order of protection. I have heard from local people here in Winnipeg that it is not the case anymore.
I went down to the court to find out the particulars of the dismissed application for the protection order. Well right on top was what I was looking for. It was as a few people suspected, it had been filed the very next day after I talked to my son A. It appeared as though Sharon was trying the same tricks she used over 10 years ago to keep me and my family away from my son A and daughter R. Sharon implied that I was stalking my son and that guns and violence were a threat. These were the tools she used to try to manipulate the Judge and the Court. It is unfortunate that Sharon is in the same place as she was 15 years ago. My main concern is for my kids A and R. I love them so much and not a day goes by that I don't think of them.
Remember D's posts are in GREEN. PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
I was checking the Court of Queen’s Bench registry (site for finding stored cases of the court) to see if there were any new developments in my divorce case. I was expecting to see no change. To my great surprise I found that my Ex wife, Sharon put an application in for a protective order in front of the court. I was equally surprised to find out that it was dismissed.
Ten to fifteen years ago the courts would hand these out like candy at a candy store. No need of proof of any wrong doing. You just had to say you feared someone or you feared for your children’s safety and you were granted an order of protection. I have heard from local people here in Winnipeg that it is not the case anymore.
I went down to the court to find out the particulars of the dismissed application for the protection order. Well right on top was what I was looking for. It was as a few people suspected, it had been filed the very next day after I talked to my son A. It appeared as though Sharon was trying the same tricks she used over 10 years ago to keep me and my family away from my son A and daughter R. Sharon implied that I was stalking my son and that guns and violence were a threat. These were the tools she used to try to manipulate the Judge and the Court. It is unfortunate that Sharon is in the same place as she was 15 years ago. My main concern is for my kids A and R. I love them so much and not a day goes by that I don't think of them.
Remember D's posts are in GREEN. PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
NEW!! Additions To The BLOG by D!
Well I would like to start by saying that these new posts in green will be D's posts. This will quickly differenciate his from mine on the Blog.
He is going to start blogging about his current experiences with his "Mission" in Canada as well as past goings on related to his divorce, custody battle for his children and the parent alienation and associated syndrome that has affected his children. He will be writing as he feels it and it may not have any chronological order at this time.
His goal is to get his thoughts and sentiments out as they come up. The organization of it may occur as we go along.
Remember D's posts are in GREEN. PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience. .
He is going to start blogging about his current experiences with his "Mission" in Canada as well as past goings on related to his divorce, custody battle for his children and the parent alienation and associated syndrome that has affected his children. He will be writing as he feels it and it may not have any chronological order at this time.
His goal is to get his thoughts and sentiments out as they come up. The organization of it may occur as we go along.
Remember D's posts are in GREEN. PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience. .
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