On March 28th, 2011 my father's vehicle was packed to the roof. He had offered to drive D to Canada. He and his fiancee were in AZ for the winter months and were heading back home. I felt good that D would be traveling with my dad as I knew there would be much conversation and support all along the 3 day trip. I also was very confident that my father would remain very calm while crossing the border no matter what would develop.
My father and Solange were sad for me as I would be alone here. They gave me a big hug each. They had tears in their eyes. D and I hugged very tightly and told each other to stay strong. The man I was waving goodbye to was embarking on a journey that would be a part of his freedom.
D was the most kind, gentle and generous man I had ever known. He was a friend, a confidante, and a partner in life. I supported him in his endeavor.
He was a man of honor. I would miss him tremendously.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
From The Heart Of One Young Man
We had been friends with the Adams family for 10 years. Their son was my son Stephan's age. We'd spent quite a bit of time together over the years. Once he found out that his mother was writing a letter, Devin wrote one without being asked. Here is what he wrote:
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families.
3/25/11
To whom it may concern,
I have had the privilege to have known D now for eleven years, the better half of my life at twenty-one years of age. Aside from being overly caring, he has shown my family nothing but the utmost love and dedication throughout the years. D is always willing to help with anything and everything my family needs and I will always be in debt for the help he has especially given to my elderly grandparents who could not have had their dream house without his helping hands. With his optimistic, can-do attitude I am convinced that he is capable of anything he sets his mind to and people rally behind this man’s confidence and wisdom he has accumulated throughout his experiences. With patient, firm hands I have seen him build things and solve problems and build masterpieces from the ground up from just an idea and some unbreakable work ethic. I have always seen D put others needs before his own as a truly selfless person. There was a moment in my life growing up when I was in a bit of a rough patch and D must have known because he came up to me and in a comforting voice spoke “If you ever need someone to be there especially sometimes when your family can be too close to the situation you know I will always be there”. That is the moment I think of when I hear his name amongst other fond memories, and it has always been a blanket of security I can keep with me. He is the most dependable person I know and if he has proven anything to me through example in my life it is that he will always be there even if I never call in the favor. I love and respect D with all of my heart and I would do anything for him, as I know he would say the same for me.
Sincerely,
Devin Adams.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families.
The Week Prior To Departure
The time seemed to be going at lightning speed. We had but a few days together left.
D had to acquaint himself with the new video camera. Thank goodness for Steve Wargo as he was the one who recommended it and was able to give D a Camera Handling 101 crash course.
D packed his garbage bags of clothing and a duffle bag of equipment and personal items. As he sat on the floor in our bedroom he said, "I'm going back pretty much with what I came here with." I was able to film him while he was packing and asked him some questions on camera. It was extremely emotional for him. He was so looking forward to getting back to Canada to settle this once and for all yet he was leaving his family and his home for an undetermined amount of time. The scene was raw. I recall fighting back my tears and saying, "Baby I would hug you right now but I can't because I'm filming you." He understood that this type of footage was critical for the film.
That afternoon on March 26th we had a gathering of close friends and family here to send D off on his quest with love and an abundance of great energy. I interviewed several of them on camera. Steve gave me a crash course. Our friends were asked 2 questions and in their answers, every single one had nothing but kind words to say about their friend D. I was so proud and so thankful for all of these admirable folks.
We had so much love all around us. A few friends also wrote letters describing D and what he meant to them. He had touched so many by just BEING himself.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families.
D had to acquaint himself with the new video camera. Thank goodness for Steve Wargo as he was the one who recommended it and was able to give D a Camera Handling 101 crash course.
D packed his garbage bags of clothing and a duffle bag of equipment and personal items. As he sat on the floor in our bedroom he said, "I'm going back pretty much with what I came here with." I was able to film him while he was packing and asked him some questions on camera. It was extremely emotional for him. He was so looking forward to getting back to Canada to settle this once and for all yet he was leaving his family and his home for an undetermined amount of time. The scene was raw. I recall fighting back my tears and saying, "Baby I would hug you right now but I can't because I'm filming you." He understood that this type of footage was critical for the film.
That afternoon on March 26th we had a gathering of close friends and family here to send D off on his quest with love and an abundance of great energy. I interviewed several of them on camera. Steve gave me a crash course. Our friends were asked 2 questions and in their answers, every single one had nothing but kind words to say about their friend D. I was so proud and so thankful for all of these admirable folks.
We had so much love all around us. A few friends also wrote letters describing D and what he meant to them. He had touched so many by just BEING himself.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families.
Anticipating The Departure
After jumping through hoops and making several phone calls, D was certain that his court date here in AZ would be postponed. He had to be gone to Canada before April 19th. His departure date was no longer optional. There was nothing that could be done in the courts here as far as initiating changes in court orders. This needed to be done in Canada. The last thing we wanted was for him to be in jail here.
The largest obstacle was finding out whether D had an arrest warrant out on him in Manitoba for failing to appear at a show cause hearing back in 2001/not paying child support. No one could give him an answer. D had sought information from an attorney, an officer from the RCMP immigration division and the Canadian Consulate by phone.
He intended to be arrested at the border. Arrangements were made with family should this be the case. So many "what if's" rolled around in our minds.
D had no Canadian passport and was not a citizen of the USA yet. Would they let him in? He was sure that he could not apply for a Canadian passport due to a probable hold placed on it by Maintenance Enforcement years ago. No one could give him a precise answer. He had to take a trip to the Canadian Consulate in Los Angeles, CA to find out for sure. There was no other way. He headed west on March 22nd.
Steve Wargo offered to go with him as he had business in LA. He would also film D while he was at the Consulate. Our video camera was ordered but had not come in yet. Steve used his.
Finally some answers. The Consulate could not confim that there was or there wasn't a warrant in Manitoba. They could however confirm that D could travel to Canada and cross by land without a passport. This was great news!
We now knew that he would be allowed into the country. We did not know if he'd be arrested at the border but it did not matter.
D would face whatever came his way. He was mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually ready.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families.
The largest obstacle was finding out whether D had an arrest warrant out on him in Manitoba for failing to appear at a show cause hearing back in 2001/not paying child support. No one could give him an answer. D had sought information from an attorney, an officer from the RCMP immigration division and the Canadian Consulate by phone.
He intended to be arrested at the border. Arrangements were made with family should this be the case. So many "what if's" rolled around in our minds.
D had no Canadian passport and was not a citizen of the USA yet. Would they let him in? He was sure that he could not apply for a Canadian passport due to a probable hold placed on it by Maintenance Enforcement years ago. No one could give him a precise answer. He had to take a trip to the Canadian Consulate in Los Angeles, CA to find out for sure. There was no other way. He headed west on March 22nd.
Steve Wargo offered to go with him as he had business in LA. He would also film D while he was at the Consulate. Our video camera was ordered but had not come in yet. Steve used his.
Finally some answers. The Consulate could not confim that there was or there wasn't a warrant in Manitoba. They could however confirm that D could travel to Canada and cross by land without a passport. This was great news!
We now knew that he would be allowed into the country. We did not know if he'd be arrested at the border but it did not matter.
D would face whatever came his way. He was mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually ready.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families.
Be Do Have
I was so grateful and elated at times at how it was all coming together. I would describe it as bittersweet in the beginning. Our friends here supported us and offered so much strength for the cause.
In late February Julie, the filmaker/director met D for the first time and by the end of the visit she had given him the name and number of a personal friend of hers. Her friend and colleague was Steve Wargo, a cinematographer who owned a film production company here in town. He'd been in the industry for years. Steve's office was about a 1/4 mile from our home. Incredible!
D called him and offered to help him in any capacity in order to learn about making a film. In doing just that, he met numerous individuals in the industry and was taught so many tips and tricks of filming. Connections were being made.
It begins with BEING the person you want to be. This allows you to DO the things you desire so that you can HAVE what it is you seek.
We both have such faith in that principle and strive to live it daily. Think about it.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families.
In late February Julie, the filmaker/director met D for the first time and by the end of the visit she had given him the name and number of a personal friend of hers. Her friend and colleague was Steve Wargo, a cinematographer who owned a film production company here in town. He'd been in the industry for years. Steve's office was about a 1/4 mile from our home. Incredible!
D called him and offered to help him in any capacity in order to learn about making a film. In doing just that, he met numerous individuals in the industry and was taught so many tips and tricks of filming. Connections were being made.
It begins with BEING the person you want to be. This allows you to DO the things you desire so that you can HAVE what it is you seek.
We both have such faith in that principle and strive to live it daily. Think about it.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families.
Confirmation That It Was Time
These episodes were constant reminders that we needed to do this more than ever. Now was the time. It was all for good.
My emotions were up and down. I was trying to be strong for me and for D. We knew he'd be leaving soon and we had no idea for how long.
We had many visitors from Canada during the months of February and March. They provided much support however all of the activities left us with less time to really prepare for his departure.
Prepare...how?...and for what?
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families.
My emotions were up and down. I was trying to be strong for me and for D. We knew he'd be leaving soon and we had no idea for how long.
We had many visitors from Canada during the months of February and March. They provided much support however all of the activities left us with less time to really prepare for his departure.
Prepare...how?...and for what?
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Court Papers? Here In Our State?
On February 2nd, 2011 a fellow by the name of Jim rang our doorbell at 0745. He was asking for D, stated he was with the courts and was rather pleasant. I told him D was not here. Jim left his number with me.
None of this was a surprise. So many emotions and thoughts ran through my head in a few seconds. I flood of tears welled up in my eyes. I wrote in my journal. Here are the words as they were written:
"I have been sending love and good thoughts to Sharon, A and R for quite some time. I have no anger or ill will for her. I am disgusted and so amazed at how our so called "justice" system continues to be what it is. That is condoning and being a major perpetrator of legalized emotional and psychological abuse of children. They are allowed to continue to engage in these crimes against children. The lawyers, the psychologists and the judges. Now I realize this is a general statement but I am so saddened by the amount of people/children who have gone through this system. It starts with the parents but when that is a volatile situation for one reason or another, who becomes the adult who will act in the best interest of the children...in loco parentis. When we get down to it...the core...do any of these family court professionals truly care about the kids or the parents? It's another court case in family court. Next!
I'm not sure D will make it to March to go to Canada. The heat is very strong/hot at this time and getting worse."
The tests of our strength had begun.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families.
None of this was a surprise. So many emotions and thoughts ran through my head in a few seconds. I flood of tears welled up in my eyes. I wrote in my journal. Here are the words as they were written:
"I have been sending love and good thoughts to Sharon, A and R for quite some time. I have no anger or ill will for her. I am disgusted and so amazed at how our so called "justice" system continues to be what it is. That is condoning and being a major perpetrator of legalized emotional and psychological abuse of children. They are allowed to continue to engage in these crimes against children. The lawyers, the psychologists and the judges. Now I realize this is a general statement but I am so saddened by the amount of people/children who have gone through this system. It starts with the parents but when that is a volatile situation for one reason or another, who becomes the adult who will act in the best interest of the children...in loco parentis. When we get down to it...the core...do any of these family court professionals truly care about the kids or the parents? It's another court case in family court. Next!
I'm not sure D will make it to March to go to Canada. The heat is very strong/hot at this time and getting worse."
The tests of our strength had begun.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families.
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