I would like to thank those who have followed the blog and supported Bea and I the past couple of years. It really provided me with a lot of fuel to keep me going when times were tough.
We are now using first names and not abbreviating any longer in the blog. This is because all the legal matters have come to a close up in Canada.
We are also very determined to keep active on the blog and post every week, Wednesday or Thursday. I am in the midst of preproduction of the documentary involving PAS, so I will be updating everyone through the blog regarding the film.
Thank You Denis
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Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
The Marital Home
After a couple of weeks of waiting for the trustee's accounting of the marital home to come in the mail, I again called the trustee's office to find out where the document was. This time I was told it was on the way.
Sure enough in about two more weeks it should up. I opened the letter in anxious anticipation as I had hopes that my share of the home would be somewhere around $125,000.00 as houses in the area were selling for $250k to $260k. To my surprise my share of the marital home was only $90k, a far cry from what I was hoping for and thought was fair.
To my further surprise the whole $90k was used up! $52,000 went to the Trustee and his lawyer and the other $38,000.00 went to the creditors. The latter I was fine with, the former was a complete shock! $16k went directly to the trustee and the rest some $36k went to his lawyer. Sharon had opposed my bankruptcy even though she would later deny that. The trustee had to retain a lawyer because Sharon would not part with the house. The trustee had to get a court order to force Sharon to account for the house when my Daughter Rochelle turned 18.
With this current information I now had no surplus to assist me with paying the child support arrears off , and with no extra funds I would not be able to hire a family lawyer to have the court order changed. This meant the spousal and child support would keep accruing until the end of time.
Bea and I had to make some decisions...
Remember D's posts are in GREEN. PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
Sure enough in about two more weeks it should up. I opened the letter in anxious anticipation as I had hopes that my share of the home would be somewhere around $125,000.00 as houses in the area were selling for $250k to $260k. To my surprise my share of the marital home was only $90k, a far cry from what I was hoping for and thought was fair.
To my further surprise the whole $90k was used up! $52,000 went to the Trustee and his lawyer and the other $38,000.00 went to the creditors. The latter I was fine with, the former was a complete shock! $16k went directly to the trustee and the rest some $36k went to his lawyer. Sharon had opposed my bankruptcy even though she would later deny that. The trustee had to retain a lawyer because Sharon would not part with the house. The trustee had to get a court order to force Sharon to account for the house when my Daughter Rochelle turned 18.
With this current information I now had no surplus to assist me with paying the child support arrears off , and with no extra funds I would not be able to hire a family lawyer to have the court order changed. This meant the spousal and child support would keep accruing until the end of time.
Bea and I had to make some decisions...
Remember D's posts are in GREEN. PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
Friday, February 15, 2013
The Start of the Final Battle
In mid 2010 I had been thinking of Andrew and Rochelle a lot of the time as they had both had birthdays that spring. Andrew turned 20 and Rochelle turned 18, both days I would have dearly loved to be apart of if given the choice.
I knew in my heart that I would have to face an ugliness that I had been saving my strength for in the past ten years. That is stoke the fire between Sharon and I in the court system in Canada.
Our house was supposed to be accounted for after approximately 13 years now that our youngest Rochelle was 18years old. I decided to call the trustee that had handled my bankruptcy back in Canada in late 1999 regarding the marital home. He had control over my half of the house, which was pretty much paid off at the time of our seperation. Previous calls to the trustee had proved to be fruitless, this time I had actually talked with the Trustee and he informed me that I would soon be sent a copy of the accounting of my share of the house. I was some what in shock that anything was happening, as past history had shown me that little if anything was ever accomplished that involved the divorce. My thoughts were that what ever was left over from the accounting of the house I would use to pay down my child suppport arrears.
My feelings were mixed. I new that this was progress but I also new that things were about to heat up. Having dealt with Sharon in the past I felt like she would pull out all the stops and go to any length to get what she could from me.
Remember D's posts are in GREEN. PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
I knew in my heart that I would have to face an ugliness that I had been saving my strength for in the past ten years. That is stoke the fire between Sharon and I in the court system in Canada.
Our house was supposed to be accounted for after approximately 13 years now that our youngest Rochelle was 18years old. I decided to call the trustee that had handled my bankruptcy back in Canada in late 1999 regarding the marital home. He had control over my half of the house, which was pretty much paid off at the time of our seperation. Previous calls to the trustee had proved to be fruitless, this time I had actually talked with the Trustee and he informed me that I would soon be sent a copy of the accounting of my share of the house. I was some what in shock that anything was happening, as past history had shown me that little if anything was ever accomplished that involved the divorce. My thoughts were that what ever was left over from the accounting of the house I would use to pay down my child suppport arrears.
My feelings were mixed. I new that this was progress but I also new that things were about to heat up. Having dealt with Sharon in the past I felt like she would pull out all the stops and go to any length to get what she could from me.
Remember D's posts are in GREEN. PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Christmas 2012
Christmas time... It is the time of year that usually brings many happy thoughts to everyone's minds and hearts, but for myself and millions of other parents and grandparents it also brings on great pain and heart ache.
Myself and many others grieve every year at this time because of the broken relationships we have with our children. We send out Christmas cards without confirmation that they are ever recieved by the intended individuals, and we don't expect any response even though we always hold out hope that this year there will be a miracle.
This is the 14th Christmas without Andrew and Rochelle.
I would like to wish all of the other Parents and Grandparents who have been alienated from their children and grandchildren the best possible Christmas this year.
Remember D's posts are in GREEN. PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
Myself and many others grieve every year at this time because of the broken relationships we have with our children. We send out Christmas cards without confirmation that they are ever recieved by the intended individuals, and we don't expect any response even though we always hold out hope that this year there will be a miracle.
This is the 14th Christmas without Andrew and Rochelle.
I would like to wish all of the other Parents and Grandparents who have been alienated from their children and grandchildren the best possible Christmas this year.
Remember D's posts are in GREEN. PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
Thursday, August 9, 2012
The Support of Joe and Maureen
I want to start by saying thankyou for the phone calls throughout the 16 mos checking in on me to see how I was doing. The support was very important.
We were fortunate enough to have had time to travel with both of you in February 2011 just before he left for his "quest". This was such a great trip. Thank you for having made all of the arrangement so that we could just focus on getting there and having some fun before he left for Canada.
You conveyed that you wished that there was more that you could do. The calls to me and to Denis meant a great deal. Joe you visited with Denis in Winnipeg back in the Spring of 2011. He thoroughly enjoyed the time with you and his siblings.
Then, there was our memorable trip to Vancouver for Michael's wedding.
The boys and Amber flew with me and we met Denis there. Maureen had made arrangements to house us all in the condo complex that they lived in. She had friends that gladly offered their condos for lodging while we were in the city for 7 days. Their generosity was incredible. It could not have been more perfect for all of us to be together during this time. The kids had not seen Denis in 8 mos.
Maureen and Joe were so hospitable. They fed us several meals, drove us around to sight see and tolerated a large group in their quaint and cozy condo for 2.
We have always enjoyed your company. Thank you for your constant support and love throughout.
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
The Boys...2 Formidable Sons!
Without my knowledge, Denis had spoken to both boys before leaving. He had asked them to look out for me, to take care of me and be there for me. That, they certainly have done.
We have spent so much time together. We have travelled, vacationed, cooked and baked. We have shared flavorful food and drinks, different wines and varieties of beers. The bottom line was that we were together. Denis shared in some of this as well when we would go to Canada.
There have been countless conversations and heated debates. Never a dull moment around this group!! They helped me create the back yard "oasis". I needed the manpower for many of the laborous tasks but more importantly they were here spending time with me.
Kyle would ask me if I was ok and Stephan would check in on me for the same reason. They were there on the really difficult days and I truly could count on them.
Amber cooked and they had me over to their place for my birthday. I felt so content to have them in my life.
Amber has been a part of our lives for the past 2 years or so. I have enjoyed her company. She and Stephan have grown a garden in our back yard and we have reaped the fruits of their labor! She also loves to cook and create new things. She and Stephan also rescued "Pele" within hours of her death. She is a blue pit bull mixed with who knows what. She has spent many hours with us as well.
Stephan and Kyle's support, warmth, love, individuality, honesty, and honor have contributed to who I am and have become. They have taught me a great deal.
Thanks for being exactly who you both are at every moment of every day!!
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
Dad and Solange...The "Transport" Team!
Well my father Fern and his partner Solange (now wife since May 2011) were here in AZ in the winter of 2011. They had been here in early January with us and then went on to stay in Yuma. We visited them in Yuma and then they came to stay with us here in Phoenix prior to heading back to Canada. My father had offered to take Denis to Canada knowing the risks of his possible arrest and being held up at the Canadian Border.
Needless to say they got through without a hitch. There was no one I trusted more to stay calm and to transmit that to Denis. They had 3 travel days to prepare. Once in Canada, Dad and Solange saw Denis regularly for coffee or dinner etc.
Needless to say they got through without a hitch. There was no one I trusted more to stay calm and to transmit that to Denis. They had 3 travel days to prepare. Once in Canada, Dad and Solange saw Denis regularly for coffee or dinner etc.
Our entire family went fishing in the Whiteshell after his wedding in May 2011. Dad paid for the fishing trip. We had a blast. 4 fun filled days in cottages and in the boat on the water fishing. Anita (my cousin), Bruno (my cousin), Stephan (my son), Amber (his girlfriend), Kyle (my son), Gil (my brother), Dad, Solange, Gaylynn (my sisiter in law), her boys C and M, myself and Denis. Dan (my brother) was working. What a beautiful gift...time with people you love.
Denis had been gone for 9 mos and his trial date was fast approaching. My Dad and Solange made it back here to our home for New Year's Eve. We all created a fabulous meal with the kids. They stayed with me for one month and thank goodness as there were some difficult moments during January 2011.
They found a cozy motel location about 2 miles from my home. They were there 2 mos. I had dinner with them twice a week there and a few gatherings at my house in between. We went hiking and walking and shopping. They listened to me "tell the tale" so many times with new twists and turns. They were interested and wanted to be current on the goings on. I so recognize the worth of their presence during this time.
In no time the one year anniversary of Denis being gone was upon us.
By July 25th, 2012, he had been gone 16 mos and my father was bringing him back across on the USA side this time. The risks of being arrested for the "previous" outstanding warrant in AZ was present despite the new order. Having a Border Patrol Officer give him some trouble about how long he had been in Canada was possible as well. Every personality is a gamble.
Again...there was no one more fit for this "transport' but my dad. He stated he was bringing his son in law to the airport to fly back home. Denis told him he had been in Canada a few months visiting family and taking care of some personal business.
They were waived on through!!!!!
Denis sent me a text that he was across and when I picked that up on my phone I let out a yell...Woooooooohoooooooo!...I was so ecstatic. I felt as though I were floating... I kid you not! He was coming home...
I booked his flight as soon as I could for the next day. They all spent the night in Grand Forks and shared a magnificent "happy hour".
Thank you Dad and Solange!
Denis had been gone for 9 mos and his trial date was fast approaching. My Dad and Solange made it back here to our home for New Year's Eve. We all created a fabulous meal with the kids. They stayed with me for one month and thank goodness as there were some difficult moments during January 2011.
They found a cozy motel location about 2 miles from my home. They were there 2 mos. I had dinner with them twice a week there and a few gatherings at my house in between. We went hiking and walking and shopping. They listened to me "tell the tale" so many times with new twists and turns. They were interested and wanted to be current on the goings on. I so recognize the worth of their presence during this time.
In no time the one year anniversary of Denis being gone was upon us.
By July 25th, 2012, he had been gone 16 mos and my father was bringing him back across on the USA side this time. The risks of being arrested for the "previous" outstanding warrant in AZ was present despite the new order. Having a Border Patrol Officer give him some trouble about how long he had been in Canada was possible as well. Every personality is a gamble.
Again...there was no one more fit for this "transport' but my dad. He stated he was bringing his son in law to the airport to fly back home. Denis told him he had been in Canada a few months visiting family and taking care of some personal business.
They were waived on through!!!!!
Denis sent me a text that he was across and when I picked that up on my phone I let out a yell...Woooooooohoooooooo!...I was so ecstatic. I felt as though I were floating... I kid you not! He was coming home...
I booked his flight as soon as I could for the next day. They all spent the night in Grand Forks and shared a magnificent "happy hour".
Thank you Dad and Solange!
PLEASE check out our resource links in the TOP RIGHT hand corner. These resources will include both Parent Alienation/Syndrome information as well as support for divorced families. Become a follower as this will help us grow our audience.
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